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Writing For Pleasure Or Pain

Teresa Harr-Pena

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Everyone seems to be caught up in the fast pace society in which we now live. Even though I try to teach my kids to slow down, the world is pushing them to go faster. As we all struggle to find some amount of relaxation, our minds keep going at full speed. In order to get these thoughts out into the open, I write. I write alot! Make a list of chores, goals, pros-cons, etc. It really doesn't matter what you are thinking. You must be able to evaluate the importance of your priorities in life.

Dreams, love, friends, work, exercise, finances, marriage, kids, etc. , are all daily thoughts for most people. Me, personally, I write down sentences of emotions I feel. I have so many kids all the time that my concentration for my personal life suffers. Do I have a “personal" life? No, I don't think so. I have a family life and a work life. I have trained my thinking skills so well that I drive myself nuts. I think it, write it, burn it. Occasionally I will actually let someone know how I feel. Which, in turn, causes me to write more. See why I write until I am out of ink?

Burn it? Yep! I know from past experiences, that some things are better left to ones imagination. Although I test my mental skills in a variety of ways, I cannot control my desires to have what I know I cannot. I simply write down how I feel, take a deep breath, and burn my papers. (Let's keep in mind that I have a burn barrel in an orchard. We don't want people just burning things in regular public places). Maybe look at it this way. . . Some people go to confession, I write mine all down. To dream or place yourself in a fairy tale land is just the same as thinking about what you are missing in your life. What are you missing? Can you get it? How bad do you want it? Why do you want it? This is your life! Go get it!

Problem? I went after something I could not have. Typical, right? Let's just check out the damages that are done when this happens. Lesson one. Our thoughts can be our best allie or our worst enemy. I allowed myself to feel invincible in the hopes of possibly being able to find “personal" happiness. I know, dumb me! This caused a roaring tidal wave of emotions that I expected to be able to control due to past experiences. I'm not as strong as I would like to be. So, rather than let anyone know how torn up I am about it, I write to myself. How can I change what I do? Why do I think I need this particular thing? Can I find something to replace my negative emotions with more positive ones? The only person that has to answer these questions is myself.

I have found that writing, in itself, is the best therapy for just about anything. It's better than keeping your emotions inside you and eventually blowing up at the poor person next to you. I admire the people who can maintain a hidden memory bank of chaotic thoughts. They have more will power than me. I also has my poetry pals and we write about everything. I do mean everything! It's fun, entertaining, sorrowful, painful, inspirational, and educational.

Life is nothing but education! Share your thoughts or keep them to yourself. It's all about the choices we make.

I'm dedicated in everything I do! Life is nothing but chance and I seem to take my fair share in this world. Although success has many forms and definitions, I am happy with my accomplishments at the end of the day.

The hardest lesson I have learned thus far in my life is you MUST love yourself before you can love someone else. Be honest with yourself and you can be honest with others. Yes, we all have fears. . . that is your instinct trying to protect you.

Always show caution, look both ways to make sure it is clear, and leap into tomorrow. I have always said, "If you don't like where your at in life, MOVE!" Teresa Harr-Pena


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