You love designer handbags. You collect them, lust after them and treat them better than your nearest and dearest.
Your credit cards twitch and flinch when the latest fashion magazines arrive in the post, small wimpering sounds carrying to you gently from your purse.
You convince yourself that you can give them up anytime, no problem.
"It's not a problem" you tell your friends “I can control it".
Then you catch yourself signing your husband up for an evening job without his knowledge, visions of the latest Hyanuki creation shimmering in front of your eyes as you fill out his application form.
Are you an addict? Is your habit becoming dangerous? Will it all end in tears?
Well, if any of the following symptoms are familiar to you - maybe you should consider cutting down for a while to a lesser brand!
1) You hear the phrases “huffing", “shluffing" and “blopping" and know what they mean. Even worse, you can remember the last time you did any of them.
2) The UPS / FEDEX delivery men know you by your first name and say “Hi" to you in the street.
3) Your husband is convinced you're having an affair with the delivery guy as he's always at your house!
4) The “box" room has been renamed your “dressing room" and you're trying to work out which wall to knock down to make it bigger so that you can fit in the new closets you'll need for all your bags.
5) Your husband is telling you how badly damaged the cards are and how you'll both have to economise. All you hear is “Of course you can get another handbag darling. You go choose what you want and I'll arrange to sell a kidney!"
6) You have to find new places to hide your latest purchases so that you don't have to answer any difficult questions.
7) When you get asked about a new bag you lie through your teeth, claiming you've had it for years and have only just got it out of the cupboard.
8) You start arguments on purpose with your husband / boyfriend / whatever just so as to have an excuse to buy yourself a new handbag - to cheer yourself up as you felt so low!
9) You know exactly how much, as a percentage, your weekly grocery bill is as money you can't spend on a new handbag.
10) If anyone asks what you'd like as a birthday or xmas pressie, you're able to hand out a list of your desired bags that you'd like to
be “surprised" with. The list is categorized by 17 different headings and is cross indexed.
11) The manager of your local boutique phones you to advise that they are holding a training session for new staff and can they please borrow some of your bags for the session.
12) They then phone back again and ask if you'd be prepared to give the training session instead.
13) Fashion magazines phone you to ask what you think the newest trend or design will be for the new season.
14) Your collection is so big - you have to use a card index to find the bag you need right now!
15) You walk past a field of cows and spend the next thirty minutes working out in your head how many bags and trim the herd would be good for.
If any of these strike you just a little too close for comfort - maybe you should consider cutting down a bit?
Just don't try going cold turkey - it hurts like hell!
Copyright:: Rufus Steele 2005
Rufus Steele is the author and creator of the Louis Vuitton Handbags website, a site dedicated to all things Louis Vuitton