2006 must be the “Year of the Woman. " First, Katie Couric became the first woman to anchor an evening TV news show. Then Meg Crofton became the first woman President of Walt Disney World. And now Nancy Pelosi is the first woman to become the Speaker of the House. Is there nothing we, as women, can't do? What's next—President? I never thought I’d see it in my lifetime, but maybe it isn’t as far off as I thought.
I’ve always admired strong women, women who are willing to put themselves out there, take a risk, embrace a leadership role, and inspire others.
But what about fatherless daughters? Can they achieve? Be strong? Be leaders? We may have heard about the negative impact that being a fatherless daughter can have on a woman, such as the “Fatherless Daughter Syndrome. ” We may have even experienced it because it is real.
When I was the first editor-in-chief of my high school yearbook, our neighbor—a businessman—complimented me on my leadership abilities and my response was, “Me? No way. " Back then I was so blind to what I was capable of. I was so blind to many things. Because that’s when I still wore blinders—blinders about the truth—blinders that I needed to find my biological father—deep into denial that knowing that side of my family was important.
Only once I searched for and met my father was I able to see who I really was. And only then was I empowered to go out and be the leader and the strong woman I was meant to be. I’m not completely there yet, but I’m on my way.
Just because you’re a fatherless daughter, it doesn’t mean you can’t overcome the negative impact it’s had on your life. You can still accomplish what you’ve always dreamed of. But first you need to know who you are and be true to that self. Only by living an authentic life can you have a positive impact on your life and on those around you. This is what we’re meant to be: our true selves.
When you’ve discovered who you are or are making inroads on that path, you can move forward in pursuing your dreams. But doing so involves taking risks.
Living the life we’re meant to live and being who we’re meant to be can be challenging, but we're the only ones who can fulfill our purpose:
“I am the one who is supposed to do it. Mommy can't do it for me and might not approve of me doing it. Society might arrest me for it. I might even be killed because of it. Still, it is mine to do! The full manifestation of these desires is a part of the divine plan. It is my sacred duty to authentically manifest these yearnings. To halt or prevent a thing from expressing, we may simply withdraw our energy from it. ”—The GROW Handbook for Spiritual Living in the New Millennium by Reverend Kelli Jareaux.
I’m sometimes asked, “What’s the big deal about turning 40?” Because that milestone is often when we take stock of our lives and realize we need to make some powerful changes. Some do it at a younger age; some later on in life. The important thing is to do it on a regular basis—keep checking whether we’re living our life in alignment with our purpose. And if not, whether we’re fatherless, motherless, or both, it’s never too late to change; it’s never too late to start over.
Kathy Holmes writes women's fiction with romantic comedy elements while raising an awareness for women over 40. She has also published a nonfiction book called “Myths of the Fatherless" about her own journey to find her father. She can be reached at http://www.kathyholmes.net , http://chicksover40.blogspot.com , and http://thefatherless.blogspot.com .