It all happened like this. My daughter-in-law called me and told me that my granddaughter was getting married in Nauvoo, Illinois on the 22 day of December.
I said, “A wedding in the winter? Just before Christmas? Well, have a great time and give my love. ”
She said, “You’re coming!”
It was in that way of hers that said, “YOU ARE COMING!”
I said, “The last time I was out that way at Christmas time in Illinois and Michigan a zillion cars and trucks slid off the road . I’m not going to do that again, ever. Why don’t they get married now while it is still warm?”
She said, “They’re getting married in December. You are going to fly out and you won’t have to drive. ”
I said, “You drive about ninety miles an hour and you don’t care what the conditions of the roads are. That terrifies Grandma. ”
She said, “We will fly you to St. Louis and Barry can drive you to Nauvoo. After the wedding, Mark will drive you to Michigan. ”
“Yes. You are coming up here after the wedding for Christmas. ”
I said, “Maybe Barry will not be able to get off work. He has sick kids to watch over. The hospital may not let him off. Besides, airline tickets are expensive. I’ll just send the money as a wedding present. ”
She said, “Mark said you would say that. I’ve already talked to Barry. I’m sending you tickets by email. ”
I said, “I’m not going out in that country in the winter time. ”
She said, “Yes you are, John. You belong to us and you've got to do what we say. ”
My daughter-in-law always has called me by my first name. She has more control over me that way. She wouldn’t treat Grandpa like that.
In a few minutes, I had the tickets.
They were not refundable so I could not turn them in for cash.
We were going to Illinois via Minneapolis and St. Louis. After Christmas, we would be flying back to Minneapolis from Michigan and then on to Idaho.
Well, all that my daughter-in-law said came to pass, at least as far as getting here to Michigan. We are sitting here in this big farmhouse looking at ourselves because my son is in surgery, my granddaughter went off on errands, and my daughter-in-law has not returned from Illinois with the rest of the heard.
However, we’ve had nice weather, the wedding was great fun, and my granddaughter looked like a princess. Some folks had driven 20 hours to get there.
While dancing with my granddaughter, I thought, Maybe I shouldn’t have fussed so much about getting here. Especially after this spring when my granddaughter had driven 50 miles almost everyday to sing to me during the three weeks I was in the hospital.
Besides, I learned from an 85-year-old farmer from Nebraska, during our five-hour layover in Minneapolis, this important tip: Plant turnips with your corn and oats. After the harvest, when you turn the cows out into the field, they will be able to pull up the turnips, gobble them down, and get fat with a more nutritious diet than from corn stalks or oat straw.
After a grand wedding, the farm tip was all gravy. I can hardly wait to get back to Idaho to tell my farmer friends. Think of the money they will save not having to buy food supplements for their cattle.
John T. Jones, Ph. D. (email@example.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine, Jones is Executive Representative of International Wealth Success. He calls himself “Taylor Jones, the hack writer. "
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