The Costs Of Not Feeling Our Emotions
Many of us do not feel our emotions fully, especially emotions we tend to think of as negative; for instance, anger, sadness, fear, hate, doubt, shame, jealousy, and resentment. Regardless of why we do not feel our emotions, the end result is the same.
* Lose personal power and creativity
* Open ourselves up to physical dis-ease
* Diminish access to our inner guidance
* Decrease our ability to experience more pleasant emotions
* Create new (frequently unpleasant) situations to help us feel and heal the emotions we are avoiding
Experience Your Feelings
We have many defense mechanisms in place, because we do not feel safe feeling our emotions, but in fact we are safe to do so. The experience is rarely as painful as our mind would have us believe, and it is rarely as painful as living with pain that has been buried for years or even decades.
In the beginning when you decide to actually feel your emotions, you may be faced with fear, anger, grief, or any other emotion you really do not want to experience. You will be faced with those emotions that you have been stuffing for years. Know up front that you are up to this challenge!
When you begin to feel a difficult emotion, let go of any struggle and resistance and be as relaxed with it as possible. You may feel physical sensations arise. If so, simply breathe into them and allow them to unfold. If your feelings take you back to a childhood situation, go there and experience it as a child, rather than from your current age. Feel it; don't analyze it! If at some point you feel stuck, or you feel like you need some help, B R E A T H E, and ask the Divine to help you experience the emotion fully.
Do not feel your feelings with the intention of “fixing" yourself or changing the feeling. Experiencing the feeling fully will automatically bring transformation.
Oh, That Wonderful Mind
As you begin to really experience your feelings, your mind will want to get very involved! As wonderfully useful as our minds are in external life, when it comes to difficult feelings, our minds can only help us run away from or “manage" them. The mind may help us feel soothed in the moment, but the pain will then remain as a “charge" in our system, and we will wind up paying for it in the future.
Don't be surprised if your mind tries several different ploys to keep you from truly experiencing your feelings. Just be aware of your mind's efforts-there is no need to get involved with it.
Your mind may:
* Tell you to talk with someone, eat, drink, watch TV, read a book, etc. These activities are very common forms of running away from your feelings.
* Tell you stories from the past, explaining why you are in so much pain right now. These stories may feel productive and insightful, yet they are simply your mind's efforts to keep you in your head and distract you from feeling your feelings. The content of the story is not important. Continue to focus on how you feel.
* Insist you identify each feeling and determine its source. (You don't need to do either!)
* Provide you with endless questions or distractions that take you away from the present feeling, so you don't focus on it.
* Suggest you should imagine yourself feeling better. When you are feeling desolation or guilt, you cannot imagine joy. If instead of feeling your painful feelings, you begin to imagine other, more pleasant feelings, you are simply trying to escape once again.
* (Insert your mind's favorite ploy here. )
Remember, just stay with the feeling and observe the process. For charges to go away, you need to re-experience the feelings associated with them. To try and change them only increases the charge.
Keep The Faith
We typically try to reach a goal quickly-in this case, “I want to feel better now. " That's why feeling your emotions fully can feel challenging in the beginning. Don't lose heart-you can transform your life into a life you love, but it will not happen through your mind. It will only happen when you pay attention to how you feel!
Arleen Hannich, MA, is a Spiritual Facilitator who provides Divine Presence, Inspirational Messages From Spirit, and the Oneness Blessing. To receive her Free Ezine “The Divine Connection" and her Free Guide “Feel Your Emotions and Create a Life You Love, " visit her website at http://www.ArleenHannich.com
Arleen's informative Guide on emotions explains the critical role emotions play in the manifestation process, common reasons why you may not feel your emotions, the role of Divine Grace in transforming feelings, mind-games that may arise when you decide to feel your emotions, and how to get started if you are currently stuffing your feelings.