So in the last articles we have talked about a couple of reasons why we don't succeed, either in relationships or other areas of our personal life, or in business. We said that guilt and past failures both have a bunch to do with why we fail. The third reason is our Self Image. I told you a story about Donald to illustrate guilt and I told you the story about Jim to illustrate why past experiences stop us from succeeding. Both of these guys were extremes, but you need to watch out for the “symptoms" as well.
Today I am going to tell you a story about me. When I was a child, just before 5th grade, we moved to a small town in the Ocala area of Florida. Now the kids in this town had all grown up together and when the red headed freckle faced shy kids from the city (Fort Lauderdale) came to town they couldn't wait to make fun. So for years I lived with what seemed like every kid in this little town making fun of me. It was horrible, and as you know kids can be cruel.
So anyway, I later moved to Pinellas County Florida, and my life changed. I was no longer made fun of, and as a matter of fact I was pretty accepted by everyone. I had outgrown the awkwardness that made me an easy target in my old town and now I was looked at as a big strong kid who many other kids were scared to pick on. Now I didn't throw my weight around, but I did have broad shoulders and a barrel chest, and I looked imposing.
The problem was that I never got over the little kid that got picked on all the time.
Even after I grew up, I never really got over it. I, in my heart, never really found a way to feel better about myself, and as a result I had a bad self image. No matter how much I told myself it wasn't true, somewhere deep inside that little kid was scared of being made fun of, and felt like he deserved to be made fun of.
Translation, when I was married before, when I made a good living before, no matter what was going on, I felt like a fraud. I felt like I could not maintain it because I did not deserve it. So I lost it.
It is funny, no matter how much money I made I was broke. No matter how many people I had around me I was lonely and no matter how many women I had, it was never fulfilling.
But then again, why would I let it be fulfilling, I never deserved any of that, right? Wrong! I did, and do, and you do as well.
In my book “The Barbarian's Guide to Success" I explain in detail what happened to my thinking, now that I understand it. The explanation is too long for this article, but in short I changed my Self Image and saw myself as a better person.
You can do the same.
With that I will say:
Get the Barbarian Mind Set and keep it. Stay trú to yourself and your family, the rest will take care of itself.
Everte Farnell is a author and speaker and professional coach. In May of 2003 Everte was a divorced broke single father. Two and a half years later Everte is a happily married father of two. The company he and his wife worked to build supplies his family with a six figure income, and his children are happy healthy and well adjusted. He lives a life that many dream of. It is the life that he dreamed of in May of 2003.
In October of 2005 he released his book “The Barbarian's Guide to Success" and is dedicated to helping other realize their dreams. He is a straight forward, politically incorrect, figure and makes very little time for detractors. He often says “So many ‘coaches’ have made their money by coaching. I do everything I coach. It is important that people know that I have faced or do face the same challenges they face. Life is an integrated process. Your professional life must support your personal and family life and vice versa, otherwise you will never find true success. " Everte Can be reached at his web page http://www.successfulBarbarian.com