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Is Stress Killing You? What Exactly Is Stress? Why Can't I Control It?

Shirley Carton

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Stress is the internal reaction to outer world pressures from circumstances and situations that we have absolutely NO control over NONE. Until Now!

By understanding and recognizing the relationship between the outerworld events that happen to you, and how your inner world reactions are to them, is the key to the control of stress.
I will explain both the reasons and the solutions with simplicity and clarity so that you can learn to manage your own stress with success.

Firstly, I will list the most common causes of stress with a number from one to one hundred this will determine how high your stress is.

The number is the scale of impact on your mind, your emotions, body, and soul. Your complete wellbeing is at risk if your total count is over 100.

1) The death of a spouse. ~ 100.

2)Divorce. ~75.

3)Marital Separation. ~65

Time spent in jail. ~65

Death of a close family member. ~65

Personal illness or injury. ~65.

Constant battle with wieght~65.

4)Marriage adjustments~ 50.

5)Fired at work. ~45.

Marital reconciliation. ~45.

Retirement. ~45.

Change in health of a family member. ~45.

6)Pregnancy. ~40.

7)Foreclosure of mortgage. ~35.

Gain a new family member. ~35.

Business readjustment. ~35.

Change in your financial state. ~35.

Death of a close friend. ~35.

Change to new line of work. ~35.

Increase in spouse Arguments. ~35.

Mortgage over $200.00. ~35.

Credit card debts. ~35.

8) Change in responsibilities at work ~30.

Son or Daughter leaving home. ~30.

Trouble with in-laws. ~30.

9) Outstanding personal Achievement. ~25.

Spouse begins or stops work. ~25.

Begin or end school. ~25.

Change in living conditions. ~25.

Giving up smoking or drinking. ~25.

Trouble with your boss. ~25.

10) Change in working hours or conditions. ~20.

Change in residence. ~20.

Change in schools. ~20.

11) Change in social activities~ 20.

Change in church or church activities. ~20.

Mortgage or loans less than $200.00. ~20.

Change in sleeping habits, like shift work. ~20.

Check the list and Add up your TOTAL stress over the past two years. =

If the total is over 100, you may already be experiencing some of the first warning signs of physical or mental disease.

Example, Pain, Lack of Energy, Sleeplessness, Headaches, Heartburn, High blood pressure, High cholesterol, Ulcers, Cramps, Indigestion, Reactive, Negative, Overly Emotional, Lack of Concentration, Loss of memory, Anxiety, Fearful, Quick to Cry, Angry, Excessive Worry, or Depression.

As soon as you have any of these symptoms, go back to the chart and find the cause.
Work on rectifying what is causing it before it becomes a serious illness.
Get to the root cause. STOP HERE, and seek a solution.

Recognize it. Admit it, Work on it, and Rectify it. Find the solution now.
Seek help if you cannot do it alone but please do it and take care of yourself.
The Positive thing about understanding this chart is that you can keep an eye on it and monitor yourself. It is an awareness chart.

IF THE TOTAL number is over 200 unfortunately, you may be already experiencing the second stages of excessive stress. Example, Physical Illness, Complete loss of confidence, Mental, or nervous breakdown,
Backaches, Diabetes, Stroke, Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis. Heart condition.

If you learn to monitor your stress levels by keeping your eye on this chart,
you can learn how to stay calm and peaceful through the difficult times.
Realizing that everything is temporary, You are only going through it.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on the light.
Focus on the solutions rather than reacting to the problems.
To much Stress leads to much Distress.

Disease does not have a chance to take root in a body that is filled with Positive enthusiasm and vibrancy.
Disease does not have a chance inside a body whose mind is Positive.
Thinking only Thoughts of Health, Happiness, Joy, Abundance, Energy, Praise, Gratitude, Faith, Hope, and Love.
Positive thoughts can heal you.
Negative thoughts can literally kill you.
Choose to be positive all the time.
Wake up every morning and choose to have a positive attitude.
Choose to celebrate life and give thanks for it all the time.

Medical research seems to have proven that Stress causes breakdown of
the bodies natural immune system leading to many illnesses.

Change is the Key. Relax, Resolve Issues, Don't Worry Be Happy.
See things as you want them to be-not as they are at this moment.

You create your reality by the way you think NOW. Think wellness.

Steps That You Can Take To Control And Manage Stress?

* Think positive, speak positive, act positive, have a positive attitude and positive intentions. The tongue of the wise brings healing. Love Heals.

Strong positive focused uplifting contributing thoughts bring forth strong positive focused uplifting contributing results.

Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Weak and scattered negative contaminating thoughts bring forth weak and scattered contaminating negative results.

It is necessary to take a walk through the door into you own mind daily, to assess your thoughts.
How is your thinking?
Are your thoughts contributing and uplifting to your life, or are your thoughts killing you and contaminating your life?
If you are always thinking thoughts of “I am stressed" you are literally brainwashing yourself, and
you are creating more stress in your life.

The laws of attraction states, As you think so it becomes for you.

*Slow down and enjoy the natural beauty all around you. Walk on the beach, watch the sunsets,

Bird watch, Be still and listen to all the sounds of life.
This earth is crammed with heaven, so soak and bathe in it's beauty.
We can choose to live in heaven on this earth. Alternatively, we can choose to live in hell on this earth. Life after all is just a series of continuous choices.
Choose to be grateful for the good things you have in your life.
Choose Peace. Choose Love. Choose Contentment. Choose to be Happy.

*Learn something new. Just for you. Something you have always wanted to do. Painting, Pottery, Learn to play the piano or the guitar. Learn to sing.
Learn to Write a Book. These type of hobbies are Meditation In Motion.
They strengthen your focus and concentration, mindfulness and memory.
They control your chaotic thoughts and draw you into a place of peace.

*Choose the music you listen to wisely. Choose music that soothes the soul, not music that will

bruise the soul. Music therapy has been extremely successful when played in hospitals, shopping center's, and medical buildings.

*Relaxation, Deep Breathing, Prayer and Meditation, are food for the mind, body, spirit, and soul. Everyone should incorporate these practices into their lives. Create a regular regime and make it
a habit. 1 hour a day is recommended but even15 minutes a day will bring results.

The rewards are balance, synchronicity, and harmony.
All these techniques will assist you to SLEEP WELL.
A good restful sleep reduces stress.
Try having a bath with a drop of lavender oil in it.
Limit your light exposure in the evening.
Have a cup of chamomile tea.
Listen to peaceful music.
Try anything to relax yourself before you retire.
Do not watch murder shows on the television every night and expect to have a peaceful sleep.

*Do not react to every little thing.
Personal power comes from creating the desired peaceful solutions to every issue for all who are involved. There is a spiritual solution for every problem.
What boundaries do you set for yourself? We all need boundaries.
What lifestyle do you choose?
Make good wise choices.
Do not procrastinate.
Be committed, when you start something finish it.
Do not waste your time worrying.
The things you worry about may never happen.
Seek truth. What you think you know may not be so.
Self observe. Stop think and question before you make a decision.
Ask your self, " what will I gain and what will I lose by making this choice?" Contemplate deeply.
Self-observation is an excellent exercise to incorporate into your life it helps with decision-making.

Learn to live the impersonal life, this sets you free.

*Use affirmations and visualizations all the time.
Visualize yourself Healthy, Happy, Successful, Prosperous, Grateful, and Loving, Enthusiastic, Vibrant, Peaceful and Contented.
As you think, so it will become for you.

Use Affirmations,

" I have absolutely nothing to complain about. "

" Every day in every way I am getting better and better. "

"Every cell in my body is healthy and vibrant. "

" I love my life and I learn from every experience. "

*Cleansing away all negatives and emotional blockages, like past hurts and unforgiveness.
This is essential in order to minimize your stress levels.
As long as you keep swimming in the murky dirty stagnant waters of yesterday, you will never see the future life, intended for you to live.
Choose to Live in Love and Forgiveness.
Hug people, Be kind, and Smile at people. Love people and Create laughter.
Make a wise decision and let all painful past events go. Throw them up to heaven. Let them go and let God take care of them for you.
Start fresh today.

Humour and laughter are extremely healing.
A good laugh every day helps to keep sickness at bay!
People have laughed there way to wellness.

* More tips to reduce stress.

1) Learn to say NO.

2) Do not try to be all things to all people all of the time.

3) Switch off and do nothing regularly.

4) Sometimes, leave things undone that ought to be done, and do not even
feel guilty.

5) Schedule some time for yourself to be alone.
Manage your time and Live each day as though it is your last.

6) Allow yourself to be untidy, boring, and unattractive at times.

7) We cannot reach perfection in one lifetime, but we can work towards it.

8) Become your own best friend rather than your own worst enemy.

9) Be thoughtful about other peoples opinions.
There are three sides to every issue. Yours, Theirs, and theCorrect one.
Take breaks from anything or anyone who leaves you feeling stressed.

10) Dream big Dreams, set goals and do not give up until you get there.

11) Choose to be around trustworthy, dependable people who can help you .
with complete confidentiality.

12) Feel the pain that drains your energy from you and find ways to eliminate them.
Where is the pain coming from, who and what pulls you down emotionally?
Take a break from them.

13) Be accountable for all your thoughts, words, actions, intentions, choices, and decisions.
Take responsibility for them and stop blaming other people for everything.

14) Eat healthy food. Small meals. Do not eat after 7pm. Drink lots of water.
If you cannot recognize where food originated from do not eat it. Eat fresh.

15) Grow up!. Some grown- ups still act like children. An adult child trying to teach a child is like
the blind trying to lead the blind.

16) Stop always buying and wanting more things. The more you have the more you have to maintain. This creates much stress.

Affirmation:" I now think speak and act positively and I love who I am. "

Self Observation Exercises help you to Discover where some of your Stress is coming from:

Answer these Questions and be truthful.

Are you happy and satisfied with your marriage, your family, your financial position, your physical, mental, and spiritual health?

Are you happy in your profession, your career, or your job?

Are you happy with your place of residence?

Which area is your greatest struggle and needs some changes?

When are you going to STOP doing what is not working for you?

How much longer are you going to struggle with the stress silently and what do you think the consequences will be?

Are you living in fear of change?

Is fear holding you back? Replace fear with faith. This works miracles.

How do you visualize your ideal life to be?

Are you at crossroads and do not know which way to go?

If you had the opportunity to pursue your ideal desired life, Where would you be? in addition,
What would you be doing?

Are you struggling with guilt or do you have a clear conscience?
A wise man once said.
"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. "

It is a good thing to get all this out, write for and against lists,
write them repeatedly for quite some time. Writing is healing.
Writing is creative and can produce some astonishing results.
Writing and Contemplating deeply, will bring out the truth.
If you need help to make some changes, get some, do not procrastinate.

Happiness should never be subject to outside circumstances and situations.
Happiness is an inside spiritual choice. Choose to be happy!

Living in and with contentment and love is living in heaven. TRY IT.
The rewards are permanent Happiness and Peace
Life will start to flow with effortless effort. As it is meant to be.

Choose to celebrate life and give thanks for every part of it.
In this world we live with Good Stress, which is Motivating and Exhilarating,
in addition, we live with Bad Stress, which makes us sick.
Think of stress like tuning a guitar, if the strings are to tight they will SNAP, and if they are
to loose they will have no power.
Keep your eye on your stress levels. If they are high, find ways to reduce them.

Spend a few minutes everyday seeing, feeling, bathing, and soaking yourself in abundant vigorous vibrant energy. You can do this successfully in the shower. As the water falls onto your head, imagine an opening in it and feel the healing water washing and cleansing your inner and outer body.
See all the disease, pain, and discomforts flowing down the drainpipe.
I have had many testimonies of healings by doing this every time you shower.

Are you the steering wheel of your life or just the spare tyre?
The difference between your success or failure in your quest to eliminate your stress is THE WORK. You must be willing to work for freedom from stress.

We all have the power and the ability to create the life we desire.
Work on your stress by doing the work and you will see results very quickly.

Do not keep hoping the stress will go away, get off the train, and change your thinking.
Think peace, think health, think control, think change, think growth,
Have faith and belief in your ability to create the outcome that you desire.

Affirmation. " I am peaceful and calm all the time because I choose to be. "

When you learn to control and direct your thoughts, then you can control your circumstances.

Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself. Think success and prosperity.
Prosperity in your health in your relationships in your work and in your dreams and goals.

If you think, it is, it is.
If you believe, it will be, it will be.

You hold the keys in the palm of your hand. use them, you can walk through the door into NIVANA anytime you choose to, and you can take it with you everywhere you go, On the other hand, you can choose to live in constant stress.

Human kindness washes stress away. Be kind to others and to yourself everyday.
I thank God night and day for being the wind beneath my wings.
All is well in my life and I am grateful. . . .

Thank you for reading this self-help article, May I suggest that you forward it to anyone you know who may be struggling with life as it is for them right now. Be an angel to someone today.
For it is in giving that we receive.

Shirley Carton the co-creator of the Steps personal and Spiritual growth program. Shirley is a teacher of personal growth, meditation, and intuition. A spiritual mentor and the author of the comprehensive self-help manual “Discover the Power of Thoughts". Your personal life coach in a book. For more help with this issue, feel free to contact me. - or - visit our website or

Excerpt from my book " Discover the Power of Thought" by Shirley Carton.


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