We are not in control.
We want to be, we'd like to be and we are not.
We all love to believe that we are in control. . . . . However, most of our behaviors are just “knee-jerk" reactions to whatever we are experiencing at the time. And most of our reactions are tied to something that happened a long, long time ago. Some event happened once or many times has impacted us and usually not for the good. Most of us act on our feelings without ever recognizing that we are in RE-ACT mode. . . we really feel like we are in control of things. . . however, it's usually more like a reaction based on things that happened days, weeks, months or even years ago.
We tend to have the same reaction that we did before. The past equals the future when we are in re-act mode. Look at that word. . . re-act. We are acting the same way we did last time. That's why people can push our buttons. They know just what we'll do. If they do this, then we'll do that. We don't think about it, we just re-act! It makes us such an easy target and such easy prey when we get our buttons pushed so easily.
Do you ever wish you could be in control? I know most of us would like to think that we can decide in the moment how we feel or what action we will take.
So what's the solution. . . what's the answer. . . what's the way to change it the next time the situation comes up or an event happens or someone tries to push your buttons?
The first thing is to recognize that you are doing it again. You are RE- ACTING. . . . So be present, be in the moment, be aware when you are feeling big emotions. Then ask yourself to take a deep breath, count to ten- whatever method will slow you down and get you back in that moment.
That's where you control will begin again, by being in the present moment. . . and not a long ago and far away moment or event. Then choose how you want to feel or how you want to respond. We're all master story tellers about events. So what story are you telling yourself based on what just happened in that moment? Remember, you are the author, the writer, the creator of the story you are telling. If you are going to write and tell the story to yourself and maybe to others, make it a good one. Make it one that supports you and put a positive spin on it. When that driver cuts in front of you try telling yourself that they are rushing to the hospital because their wife is having a baby, or maybe they just didn't see you or? Be creative and be positive. Don't drag the past into it. A thought of “this always happens to me" or “all women are bad drivers" is definitely being in the past AND telling a story that creates negative feelings, emotions and reactions.
So the task is up to you. Will you ACT in the moment or RE-ACT based on the past?
Yoda Mel - Relax now. . . . Get your FREE 5 1/2 minute quick to calm relaxation audio today by going to: http://www.Quick2Calm.com right now. An incredible Stress less Secret Guide is included too. Guaranteed to help you relax, feel better, and regain focus. Y Mel has worked in the field of personal growth, coaching, body work, energy medicine, and hypnosis for the last 17 years. She is committed to changing the world one mind at a time. Her Stress Management program is available at http://www.PutStressToRest.com