I rolled from one pillow to the next, twisting about under a sheet, trying to get comfortable. My ankles swollen and small contractions were coming on like a bad case of hiccups. My due date was five days away and I suffered with nagging heartburn all day. While my physical body was aching, the worse pain resonated deep within my heart.
Today was the day my doctor informed me, the baby inside me had passed away. The cord wrapped itself around her neck, and the doctor could not find a heartbeat. He wrote a prescription for some sleeping medicine and instructed me to go home, get some sleep, and said he would induce labor in the morning.
How can I sleep tonight knowing the baby inside me is gone? Is he crazy? I decided to go home anyway and try to sleep.
While tossing and turning in the bed, I finally resolved I would not be able to sleep. I sat up in bed, lifted my head and cried out to God. I can't believe this Lord, is this really happening? I know you Lord, and I know that you can raise anyone from the dead if you want to; I just pray if it is your will, you will bring my baby back to life.
God please do not turn your ears away. I need to hear from you, I need to hear your voice. I cannot make it through this without you. My heart and mind are confused and hurt.
As I finished my prayer, I gently lay back down and decided to be quiet to see if I could hear from Him.
As I lay in bed, I became increasingly sleepy. While drifting into sleep, I began seeing the face of Nancy, (the music director at my church). Nancy sang like an angel and one of my favorite songs she sang was “Cast all your cares".
As I saw Nancy's face in my mind, I began hearing her sing my favorite song repeatedly until I finally fell asleep. It was as if the Lord had sent Nancy into my mind to sing me to sleep.
Renae Patterson is a wife and mother of three girls (One of which has already gone to be with the Lord) and one son. When she is not taking care of the little ones, she’s busy editing for the online magazine Christian Woman Daily. Com located at http://www.christianwomandaily.com