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The Answer to Rejection

Niti Charlton

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There are numerous occasions when we feel excluded and let down by others. We often look to others to feel accepted and valued. And when this need is not met, we feel rejected and hurt.

Often in our daily lives, we come upon stray incidents like the one below.

Lekha arrived late to work and her boss was angry that she was regularly late. In an attempt to correct this behavior, he started chastening her.

Boss: Lekha, this is not the first time I see you coming late to office. I would like to warn you not to repeat this.

Lekha: My 2 month old son is still not accustomed to sleeping usual hours. To add, the busy traffic often disrupts my schedule. I wanted to discuss my situation with you earlier, but I thought you would understand. I would really appreciate if you could make my timing flexible until things get normal at home.

Boss: OK, I understand.

But later in the day, she overheard her boss saying that she always has a good reason for turning in late.

Lekha felt miserable the whole day because she felt nobody understood her predicament. She was a new mom and with all the hectic activity at home, she did not even have time to rest her back. She lamented that she was not valued and her special needs were not being respected.

Have we not often felt the same way? When we really felt under pressure to perform beyond our limits? When somebody has expectations we could not possibly meet and it sets us thinking why we feel so empty inside? So rejected and hurt about not being valued and respected?

GOD put this need and desire in us to feel valued and respected. He made a void in us which He alone can fill. In the noise and the bustle, the void is still there and it makes us crave all sorts of things. Unless the love tank inside us is filled with the pure love of Jesus, chances are we will fall prey to the empty distractions of the world.

Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages" refers to the concept of love tank which is symbolic of the inner void that each of us has within us. The author mentions that all people need to feel loved because this void needs to be constantly filled with love, attention, recognition, respect and so on. When these needs are not fulfilled, a person feels out of place. Thus we are most happy when the love tank is full. Then the little misdoings go unnoticed, we can easily take a comment here and there and it hardly seems to affect us! Surely, there is a deep connection to how we feel inside and what we have to deal with outside.

In my own life, I have often pondered in my mind why I feel differently each day. It is only now that I realize that my response and reaction to people is affected by how I am feeling inside. If there is a storm within, I am going to feel miserable and the misery is going to spill out in my words. So how do I tackle the situation?

The answer is really simple:

1 Chronicles 16:10:

Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD.

And again in the next verse (1 Chronicles 16:11):

Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.

What happens when we seek the Lord? We transfer the quality of the One we seek into our lives.

Psalm {17:15}:

As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.

Psalm {4:7}:

Thou hast put gladness in my heart.

Psalm {16:8-9}:

I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

What is the heart of GOD?

1 John 4:8:

God is love.

1 Chronicles {16:27}:

Glory and honour are in his presence; strength and gladness are in his place.

Psalm {5:7}:

But as for me, I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy: and in thy fear will I worship toward thy holy temple.

Psalm {21:13}:

Be thou exalted, LORD, in thine own strength: so will we sing and praise thy power.

When we seek the face of GOD, He fills us with His love, glory, strength, honour, power and mercy (to name a few)!! When He so fills us - that our love tanks are FULL, a rash comment or disapproval from others would really have no room to settle inside! Forgiveness happens easily when one is so love soaked that there is no room for hatred. We could feel no bitterness for another, we would only feel love for one another! There would be no judgement, no anger, no dissatisfaction as we noted earlier that satisfaction is from the Lord.

Psalm {17:15}:

As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.

The trouble starts when we do not spend time in His presence - to be filled to the point of over flowing so that we are immune to the world and the not-so-good news that pervades the air. Pray that He may fill you with His great love each day as you continually soak in His presence. Take the time and do not compromise because it is going to determine how you do the whole day and when the days add up, they might well decide your destiny! Amen.

The longer the time of soaking and marinating, the better. The peace becomes deeper and there is a stillness inside that you will never know except at the feet of the Lord. Soak till you feel full, till you know you are fully equipped to face the world.

Let the presence of GOD so pervade your life that the fullness of life and the virtue of Christ flow into other's lives too! This is the secret to being beyond offence - to be so strong that the little things don't matter. When you feel lovelorn, you know what is missing - GOD and His love for you. Lean on Him to regain your strength. Be radiant in His love and then encounter the world with all its expectant people!!

In the previous context, if Lekha had found time to search her heart for whether she was empty or full, she would have realized the great void that was inside her because she had been expending herself and not having any quiet time in GOD's presence to charge herself up with the love of Christ. She had forgotten that she had free access to the great measure of GOD's love by simply spending quiet time with Him - the Savior of our souls, awesome Redeemer and Healer!! She was so caught up in her worldly chores that she missed out on sharpening her axe!

GOD has His way of getting our attention. It could be through a painful boss or a nagging husband. At the end, it brings glory to His Name, for all shall know Him and they will prosper in every way!

Amen. Glory to Jesus for ever and ever. Hallelujah!

Niti Charlton


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