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Resisting Freedom

 


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Last night I noticed a large brown moth at the top of our kitchen window that faces the sink. He seemed to be asleep at the top of the blue and yellow curtains, wings folded inward. It crossed my mind to chase him away, but something told me to let him be.

Then late this afternoon, washing some squash and broccoli for dinner, I observed that same moth now sitting on the windowsill. Delicate front legs flexed, still a dry chalky brown color. The window was open and a beautiful soft sunny breeze was coming through it the screen.

As I continued preparing the food, the moth began making small flying movements near the window. I certainly love my kitchen, but it was definitely not home to this small insect who now obviously was ready to leave. Gently I moved my hands towards him, my intention pure. He, however, did not know this, and fluttered his wings madly away from me. So I let him be.

A bit later when I found him sitting on the sill again, I surprised him by cupping my hands lightly around him and moving as fast as I could towards the kitchen door, intent only on giving him his freedom. But fear gave him the power to escape my loving hands yet again. This time he flew madly around the kitchen several times while I stood by watching helplessly. The next time he headed towards the door, I quickly opened it, and then he was finally free.

As I watched him soaring through the early summer sunshine, something lifted in my heart. I almost felt Spirit putting her loving hand on my shoulder, thanking me for taking the time to give this tiny sliver of Her creation its freedom. .

And I also had several flashbacks to times in my own life when freedom was right in front of me, yet I resisted any loving hands that were helping me towards an open door. Memories of fears that held me back over the years fluttered through my mind as that moth had fluttered around my kitchen.

I realized that freedom is almost always right in front of us. And the choice is ours- we can either allow our fear to beat so loudly in our bodies that it stops us from moving towards it, or we can relax with faith, and trust in the loving Hands that are leading us to the open door.

P. S. I thought it was a moth because when its wings were closed, it was a dull brown color. But when I watched it rise through our backyard on the wind of its freedom, I noticed that it was a gorgeous orange and brown butterfly, not a moth at all.

Anne Marie Bennett is a freelance writer, SoulCollage® facilitator and self-taught artist who enjoys playing with all forms of color and words. She has a BS degree in Education from Southern Connecticut State University and has taught children, teens and adults throughout the East Coast. She is a breast cancer survivor and feels closest to her own soul when she is writing, creating art, teaching, and sharing the gift of SoulCollage with others. Anne Marie lives, writes, laughs, sings (and creates her own SoulCollage cards!) in Beverly, Massachusetts. If you're curious about the process of SoulCollage, visit her website http://www.KaleidoSoul.com

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