You do not have to be hit to be a victim of abuse. Emotional abusers chip away at your self-esteem until you feel the need to tear yourself down just to meet their opinions. Some victims of abuse might engage in self-destructive behavior as a means to prove their abuser “right".
If you have suffered from abuse of any kind, you have very likely had low self-confidence at some point, but it doesn't have to remain that way. You could seek reprieve through counseling or support groups - it's always helpful to talk to others who have experienced what you have. The internet has made finding information and support on dealing with such subjects a lot easier than it used to be, but it's up to you to take the necessary baby steps to free yourself from the effects of abuse and start working towards recovery.
Many abuse survivors put on a face of confidence, and are outgoing. They are trying to hide behind this facade in hope that others won't know what's really going on inside. They feel a sense of shame at what they are experiencing at the hands of their abuser.
The problem with doing this, is that they never deal with what's really going on in their lives and in their heads, as they feel “safe" pretending to be someone they're not. This also makes it difficult for others to realise how much they are suffering.
Some victims of abuse have such a low self esteem that they just stop caring. Their house is filthy, they take little pride in their appearance and they lose interest in other aspects of their lives too.
While they are a victim, they choose to live as one, in all aspects of their lives. Everything bad in the world is due to the fault of someone else. What they fail to see is that it is only they who have the power to improve their life.
The Blame Game
So how do you move on and live a happy life?
First you need to accept that you deserve to be happy. This can take a long time and if you're suffering from depression, then you should definitely seek professional help now!
If you can't get away from the abuse, then you should do whatever you can to make it stop - see if the abuser will seek therapy with you. Let them know how their abuse makes you feel - the abuse has to stop.
You should then start thinking about your goals. No matter whether you think they can achieve them or not, changing your focus to that of a goal, rather than your current problems, is a great way to help you to start feeling better about your future. If the goal seems too big right now, set smaller goals as little baby steps towards your main goal. Many people suffering from a lack of confidence or self esteem don't have clearly defined goals.
If you want to learn a new skill, look into what you need to do to learn that skill. Take a class, or even do a course via correspondence.
Just because you have been a victim of abuse doesn't mean you can't live a happy, fulfilling, successful life. The sooner you start working towards your goals the sooner you will get there.
If you want some further help in improving your confidence or self esteem, here's what you must do next. . .
Sign up straight away for Michelle's free newsletter on Improving your Confidence and Self Esteem at http://selfconfidence101.com , which will help you to make the changes that are required to improve your confidence and self esteem and therefore dramatically change your life for the better.
Michelle is a Life Coach who really understands how debilitating it can be to suffer from low confidence and self esteem, and to come out of it much stronger, smarter and happier. Visit http://selfconfidence101.com for more information.