Confidence is something many of us want more of because we recognise the limitations a lack of it has on our life. Although it is a characteristic we want to develop and strengthen, there are many untruths and myths surrounding what confidence is and how it is developed:
- It is a myth that being shy is just the way you are. It's only the way you think you are and keep telling yourself you are. If you continually think of yourself as shy, tentative and not confident, you are reinforcing that behaviour in you. It's important to become aware of your self talk and the words you use to describe yourself
- Believing your parents were shy has caused you to be shy is a fallacy. People are not born shy, there is no shyness gene. People become shy because they have learned to behave and act a certain way. It becomes a habit. And since shyness is a learned behaviour it means that it can be unlearned and replaced with more confident behaviour.
- Arrogance is sometimes mistaken for confidence but they are completely different. Arrogance is more about showing off, controlling, one-up-manship and superiority.
- Being confident is bragging about yourself - if someone continually talks about his or her confidence and achievements they are generally insecure. It's almost like they are trying to convince themselves they are confident. Confidence comes from within and doesn't need to be, and typically isn't, stated to everyone else.
- The belief that confidence is the same as being competent, is wrong because they are 2 different things. Competence is your ability to do something whereas confidence is your belief about your competence. People are “a disaster waiting to happen" if they lack competence and yet have unjustified confidence in a particular area e. g. someone who has watched medical television programs and thinks they are competent to do surgery without having studied medicine.
Having a lack of confidence doesn't mean that you always have to! Lots can be easily done to develop and strengthen your confidence. . . if you choose!
Jeanne May of Aspirations Plus , works with spiritually minded people providing them information, inspiration, guidance and support to achieve their dreams and goals.
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