Recently I have come to some conclusions about my life and the changes I want to make in it. I had slowly been heading toward these changes within the past year, but it took some time away from it all to truly get serious about implementing them.
You probably know where my thoughts are headed since I know that most of us moms discuss this subject: being too busy.
We can talk about it, or we can do something about it.
You see, I’ve found that a lot of moms talk about being too busy and feeling overwhelmed but when it comes down to it, they refuse to say “no” or allow themselves to not get things accomplished.
I’m just like you. It is extremely hard for me to not demand so much of myself or remind myself that everything cannot be done all of the time. This mentality cripples us and creates great stress in our lives and in our homes. I started thinking about how my children would remember me as a mom when they grew up. And I thought, “What good is it for me to have everything done; get it all accomplished – but be left a puddle of stress in the process? Is that how I want my children to remember me?” And of course, the answer was a resounding “NO!”
Let me ask you a question that I’ve asked myself before on many occasions. Why is it that we as moms, feel that we must keep our homes perfectly organized and picked up; our children in all the latest groups and activities; involved in every “volunteer request” that comes up; homemade meals; and not forget any gifts, thank-you notes, or social opportunities that come around in the meantime? Plus, have a little something on the side (whether it’s a job/business, or hobby) for ourselves as well? The answer I came up with was very unflattering. I came to the conclusion that we expect all of this out of ourselves because we feel we are perceived as being successful if we do it.
We look at it like if we are sooo busy then hey, everyone must love us and want us to do things and be around us, right?
Do you FEEL successful? I’m willing to bet you don’t. And if you ask your frazzled, stressed-out mom friends… I bet they don’t feel successful either.
I can’t tell you what to do or make your choices for you. For me, I’ve decided to start saying “no” more often; to allow the laundry to sit a little more if need be, and to ease up on my computer work so I have more time to laugh and play with my family. I am working on delegating more tasks (which is a very hard thing for me to do!)
To me, being happy means I am successful. And happiness in our home only comes with less stress and a lighter load.
So if people think I’m boring because I have free time and no social invitations on the horizon… so be it. I plan on being too content, rested, and happy…to care.
Slowing my family’s life down is a goal I’m still working on; but I’m headed in the right direction. How about you?
~ Dionna Sanchez is realigning her priorities from her home in Idaho. Her three kids ages 17, 8, and 6 are the most important things in her life aside from her husband. Learn more about putting your family first at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com/newsletter