When you have a case of FABS, it may be hard to eradicate, but it is far from impossible. Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame may be different emotions, but they can all be gotten rid of in the same ways:
First and foremost, it is very important to learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT! The past is over and done with, and can never be changed, no matter how much we wish that it could. I remember watching a TV show called Biography, where they were doing the life story of a famous TV star. He made the comment that he had spent his life always looking behind him, never at where he was or where he was going. He likened it to driving a car but only looking in the rear view mirror. If this is what you are doing, it is time to turn your head around and face the sun. This crystalline moment in time is the only reality that exists, and it is terrible to waste it looking to the past. Do whatever you have to do to release the past and its hold on you.
Second, you must learn that THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF! You can spend your entire lifetime wishing that a person would change, wishing that they would treat you better or be loving and supportive, but it ain’t gonna happen just because you want it to. If you were abused as a child, then you may be spending your life trying to ignore it, shoving it down into some dark recess of your psyche. I guarantee you, however, that it is coming out, every minute of every day in ways that you cannot see. Deal with it! Get help, you are going to need it. But you are absolutely, positively going to have to give up hoping that someone will change, or trying to change them. Working on yourself is the only answer
Third, examine your current relationships. IF YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT GOOD, CHANGE THEM! People infected with FABS often have surrounded themselves with people who are infected as well. Since you can’t change them, you are going to have to get strong enough to let them go. If you are successful in driving the FABS from your life, they are not going to want to be around you anyway, or they are going to try and re-infect you. Misery loves company. Once you have gotten rid of your FABS, then you will attract like-minded people to you, ones that do not have FABS either.
As you learn to live in the moment, to not try and make other people change and that you deserve better relationships, the FABS will find that they are not welcome in your life. They will move on to some other unsuspecting person, or better yet, they may just cease to exist. It can be scary to rid yourself of the FABS, but remember, they are causing you to feel that way! They don’t want to leave; you have to make them leave. It is so worth the time and effort to do this, being cured of the FABS is fabulous.
About The Author
Sibyl McLendon is 1/2 Navajo, and is a personal spiritual coach for Circle Of Grace http://www.circle-of-grace.com .
Circle Of Grace is a unique blending of Native American spirituality and holistic wellness coaching. Sign up for a free coaching session!
Sibyl can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org