Reframing Rejection

 


Visitors: 464

So people will reject us no matter how good we look, no matter how successful we are, and no matter how giving we are. If we were to become even nicer, and even more spiritually aware they would still reject us so it is a pointless battle trying to win over everyone.

However we can change how we think about rejection. If we change the meaning of rejection it can become our ally instead of our enemy. Next time someone rejects you why not take it as feedback instead. That is, your approach did not work and you need to try a new approach. In sales, the salesperson must view rejection as feedback or else she will slowly go insane!

So let us view rejection as feedback. When you are rejected immediately set your mind the task of intelligently answering this question - how must I change my approach to get what I want? By doing this, you shift your attention back to what you can do and off the other person whose approval is theirs to give or not to give.

Let us take the example of asking someone to help you with a project at work, you are afraid to ask for help so when you do, your coworker can almost smell this fear of rejection coming from you. So he says No, he is far to busy to help you today. Now immediately ask yourself the feedback reframe question - how must I change my approach to get what I want?

Asking this question will give you an unlimited range of new aproaches to use: maybe smile more, or bribe him with a soft drink, or perhaps offer to do some of his boring work in return for help.

It also helps to anticipate rejection before it has a chance to happen. In the case of the example above, before talking to the colleague I would spend a few minutes in preparation running through possible ways he might reject me. For each possible situation, just keep asking yourself - how must I change my approach to get what I want?

You may not realize, most people just give up too easily because rejection feels so unpleasant. If you reframe rejection to mean feedback it becomes a mental puzzle to solve instead. You will then be able to endure the word *No* a lot longer. This endurance will also encourage others to let you have what you want because you just do not seem to take No for an answer!

****Warning: maintain rapport at all times when you use this approach, this new found courage and tenacity is only appreciated by others if you use it with a win-win outlook. ****

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author. Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book, which reveals secret strategies for supercharging your communication skills. To join send an email to: AbolishShynessToday-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.topica.com/lists/AbolishShynessToday/

(516)

Article Source:


 
Rate this Article: 
 
No More Rejection!
Rated 4 / 5
based on 5 votes
ArticleSlash

Related Articles:

Rejection - Rejection Hurts - Turn It Around Now

by: Mimi Tanner (November 17, 2006) 
(News)

Reframing Matrik

by: Dr. Laila Ahmed Charania (June 04, 2007) 
(Self Improvement)

Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing

by: Maria Boomhower (May 18, 2005) 
(Self Improvement/Leadership)

Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness

by: Adam Eason (March 03, 2005) 
(Self Improvement/Happiness)

Stress Management - The Powerful Art of Reframing

by: Jeff Herring (November 18, 2005) 
(Self Improvement/Stress Management)

New Perspectives: Increasing Your Creativity and Imagination Using the Art of ..

by: Dan Goodwin (July 22, 2006) 
(Self Improvement/Creativity)

NLP Reframing - Slight Of Mouth Patterns For The Modern Jedi

by: Mark Shepard (March 07, 2008) 
(Self Improvement/NLP Hypnosis)

Rejection - How to Deal with Rejection

by: Pamela Arsena (July 02, 2007) 
(Self Improvement)

Thanks For The Rejection!

by: Dr. Gary S. Goodman (July 12, 2005) 
(Self Improvement/Positive Attitude)

No More Rejection!

by: William Martin (January 04, 2006) 
(Self Improvement/Happiness)