Getting Comfortable With Change: 5 Easy Steps

Vicki Miller

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"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. " - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

When something happens to you that might be labeled as negative, how do you react? The initial reaction for most of us is to run or hide, look for someone to blame, come up with excuses, wonder what we could have done differently, shift into a fear mode or do all of the above.

Whether the situation revolves around health issues, finances, work or relationships, the tendency is to dwell in the past or worry about the future. When we have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, it leaves nothing for the present! We spend our time, fearfully saying “What if . . . . happens?" And it's this focus on the future that causes feelings of fear and anxiety.

Here's a quote from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that applies to this topic: "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence. "

Fear-based thinking is widespread in our society; fear of failure, of rejection, of poverty, of the unknown and of death. If we were to sum all this up in one word - it would be fear of change. We fear change because it takes away our feeling of security. So how is the best way to handle change, deal with so called negative circumstances and banish fear? There are five things you can do:

1. Practice gratitude. Make a list of all the things for which you are grateful. Doing this practice attracts more positive things into your life. Add to your list everyday.
2. Put both feet in the present! When you catch your mind drifting in to the past or the future, gently bring it back to the present moment. Put your attention on where you are NOW. Get quiet and ask your inner guidance for clarity and direction.
3. Accentuate the positive. Look for the opportunity in the situation. Drop negative words like not and don't. So rather than say, “I don't want to be broke", say “I want to be financially secure" or better still say " I am financially secure" or best ask, “In what ways, am I financially secure?"
4. Create a clear vision of what you want. Imagine it happening and experience the feeling of what it would be like to live your vision.
5. Let go of the outcome. Clinging too tightly to a particular outcome limits other possibilities . Know that following the previous four steps is attracting what you want, so just relax!

Following these five steps takes practice and diligence. It is natural to slip back into old patterns when unexpected events happen - that's okay. Just shift your thinking to these new steps when you catch yourself staddling the past and the future. You'll know when this happens because your body will tell you with various reactions!

Copyright October 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and to prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach. v., to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute telephone coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at


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