I consider myself a very fortunate human being. I have a wonderful life that is surrounded by a group of loving, supportive family and friends. Some, who are reading this newsletter at this very moment. Along with all the joy I am exposed to everyday, I find myself being given opportunities to practice what I teach even when it feels impossible.
One of the areas I coach people with is helping them manage their energy. In other words, helping them stay connected to the emotions that allow them to feel good, no matter what is being thrown at them from outside circumstances. Is this easy to do? Sometimes and at other times it seems downright impossible. Recently, I was given the gift of being in the place that felt downright impossible.
My 15 year old son came home from school quite upset and not willing to talk about it, which is enough to test any parent’s ability to remain in his or her own energy. About 20 minutes later he came to me sobbing. He was under a lot of stress at school and was disappointed in his performance on his swim team. It felt to him as if everything were crashing down on him at once. As I listened to him, I could feel all sorts of emotions running through my body and slowly found myself slipping into his energy. I was feeling a bit scared, frustrated and angry. (Just to name a few) I spoke to him with as much compassion and understanding that I could find and when he didn’t seem to accept any of what I was sharing, I fell into a miserable mood and was absolutely no use to him, only to find myself losing my patience. At that moment, I told him it would be better if he left me alone for a while since anything I said didn’t seem to make a difference.
He went back to his room while I sat on the couch completely amazed at how, in just a matter of minutes, I went from being so happy to being so miserable. In that moment I realized that I allowed myself to disconnect from my inner being, ultimately letting another person’s energy become mine. I knew in my heart that the only way I could be of help to my son and myself, was to get centered and maintain my inner strength.
I brought myself back to a good feeling place by remembering other times with my son that brought us both, great joy. As I remembered those moments I also remembered more difficult times he has experienced and how he came through those unscathed without my advice.
Once I felt strong again and knew I could be happy regardless of his emotional state I was grateful to have the choice to feel how I wanted to feel no matter what was taking place outside of me. With that clarity I was able to go into his room, tell him I love him and let him know he could continue to focus on his lousy feelings or look beyond the moment to search for some solutions. The choice was his and I didn’t have to be a part of it. I then kissed him and left his room knowing that was all I had to do to keep me feeling good.
Although it really does feel like you are at the mercy of other people’s emotions, you can absolutely stay in an energy that serves you best. You don’t have to get on the emotional roller coaster with them. When you allow yourself to become more of an observer in any given situation you free yourself from believing you are being personally attacked or that you need to solve their stuff. It helps you remember they are speaking from their truth and it doesn’t necessarily represent your truth. When you know who you are, how you want to feel and that you really do want the highest good for all involved, you create an energetic vibration that can move from you to them, ultimately changing the outcome of any situation allowing you to walk away feeling good that you stayed connected to your energy.
And in case you’re wondering, my son shifted his energy beautifully, gaining new insights and greater strengths along the way.
“Happiness is present when there is no difference between the inner man and the outer man. ” -Vernon Howard
Copyright 2005, Linda Salazar all rights reserved. This article may be reproduced in its entirety as long as all credits are included.
Certified Personal Life Coach, Author, Speaker
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