Negative people. They're like vampire bats which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive but their negativity ends up just completely eating away at you, you feel exhausted, you feel spent and you may also start to feel negative too.
So what can you do about it? One of the first things to do is to be aware of who the negative people are in your life. You have to stay on the look out for them. This may not be as easy as you first think. You are going to really have to pay attention.
There are probably a lot of people in your life that are actually energy sucking human beings. When you are around them you experience a lot of ill feelings like unease, constriction. You will naturally feel unsafe and they will start draining your energy because that's what negativity does.
Pay attention to what people are saying. Is it always about how bad things are? Do they just pick out the worst and complain, never actually doing anything about all the terrible things that they bring to everyone else's attention?
Now that you know who and what to look for here are a few things you can do to protect yourself against them.
1. What is really bothering them?
Do you understand why this person is the way they are? Is it because they hate their job, hate their marriage, feel trapped in their life or do they hate themselves so much that they feel the need to take it out on other people? Some people really do want to make you feel as rotten as they do. Some people may see it as a way to get attention. It is like my dad told me “The popcorn gets the butter. " They may think that if they whine and cry enough somebody may notice them. . . ahh poor baby. Negativity is a reflection of ones self. . that doesn't have to be you.
2. Turn the cheek and walk away
When the negativity starts just turn your cheek and walk away. Just go and find something else to do, something positive. You will totally be turning a positive into a negative there. Don't let the negative person start to churn your emotions. The stirring of emotions is what is so draining. Have you ever had a huge argument with a spouse, friend or family member? Do you recall how draining it is on you?
3. Go away in your mind
Some times you may not be able to get away from it at all. But, just because you are there doesn't mean you have to be there. Take a trip in your mind when the negativity starts. As men we have pretty much mastered this technique when talking to our wives so why not do it when someone is telling you a sob story. Really, that's why we perfected the method. When they are done you can come back. Usually I spend a couple of more days on the beach.
4. Think about something funny
So you have this person whether intentionally or not are trying to bring you down. Sometimes I like to fight this with little Martians attacking them while they are talking to me. Not big nasty Martians but the little guy from Bugs Bunny. Yes, I know it sounds stupid but it sure does make me laugh. Imagine what ever you want but be careful if she is good looking. . . remember eyes above the neck boys.
5. Maybe it is time to find different people?
Sometimes you just have to cut the cord. If somebody is sucking the life energy out of you it may be time to find someone else to talk to or confide in. If it is a spouse, it may be time to get some counseling and let them know how it bothers you. Believe me though, if it is anyone else you don't need them. There are a lot of positive people out there you could spend you time with.
6. Don't let them bully you?
Negativity can come from a lot of different directions. I once worked at car dealership where everyone was so mean to each other. Now, I can take a joke and I can make a joke but these guys were brutal. It didn't bother me at all but I could tell some of the guys really go beat down by this behavior. If you are in one of these kinds of situations then there a couple of actions you can take. One, you can stand up for yourself. If it upsets you let them know it but be fore warned, if they smell blood it could be nasty. The other, move on and find a more enjoyable place to be.
7. Don't be the listener
Some people think that listening to others problems is a good character trait. I have dated women in the past that make the claim “I am a good listener" GREAT your a negativity pin cushion. Now I am not being insensitive at all. When people sit down to tell me a sob story I always ask “Can I respond to this?" I will always give advise and tell you how I feel. If you don't want me to release then I don't want to hear it. The way I see it, if they have problems then they need answers. If they don't need answers then they just want to bring me down.
8. Say something positive
This may be my sarcastic side but I like messing with negative people by killing them with kindness. If someone goes into a negative conversation I say things like “I love you" or “Your a beautiful person. " This doesn't sound real funny but I am 6'2 and 240 lbs. . it is pretty funny coming from a man of my stature.
9. AMP (Ain't My Problem)
Don't be the person that has to fix everybody. If you feel the need to fix people you very well could have some issues of your own. Everyone is responsible for their own lives. One persons problems don't have to become your as well. Fixing people means you have to take in their own negativity and that will just pistol whip you.
You don't have to be rude about it but just tell them you don't have time right now and maybe you can talk to them a little later. By then they will have already found someone else to suck the life out of. Better them then you right? Remember, you don't owe anything to anybody but you so don't fall into the guilt trap. . . just walk away.
10. Don't slip, stay positive
The best way to kill negativity is with positives. Stay up beat and maybe they will pick up on it. Negativity breeds negativity but being positive does the same exact thing but you just need a heavier dose of it.
There will always be negative people around you and you will never get away from it totally but just being able to identify it you will be able to react to it. It is just one more step to evolution.
Copyright © 2008 by ScottHuey.com
Scott Huey is an everyday guy who has become devoted to personal growth. Click here if you would like to read more of his Self Help for the Evolving Man.