Your choice of language, which includes your choice of words , is your most important tool in building rapport through your communication.
In actual fact, the words you use, construct the life you lead.
The language you use will either free you or jail you.
Your content is much less important to your personal success in external communication than your facial expressions, body posture and the sound of your voice.
However, the content being made up of words, will determine what sort of internal dialogue you engage in and will determine how you see the external world.
You will also need to moderate your external dialogue to accommodate the other person's preferred style of communicating if you want to achieve your desired results.
There are four groups of predicate words: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Auditory Digital.
Here is a breakdown of some of the words in each group.
It appears to me
The message is crystal clear
It actually dawned on me after we spoke
What do you envision for the company in five years’ time?
We need to remain focused at all times
My memory is a bit foggy regarding the details
Mine is a bit hazy also
Doesn't the room look better with more illumination?
Just imagine how we will feel five years from now!
The other party needs to reveal their position
Do you get the picture?
How does that look to you?
Can you see what I mean?
That is an excellent point of view!
Just watch what the others do
I'm all ears - keep talking
Everything we said fell on deaf ears
That piece of music had so many dissonant notes
If we would all harmonise, we can be so much more productive
Can you hear what I am saying?
Listen to them
That jazz group is making wonderful music
If you do not understand what is being said, you should question it
How does that resonate with you? Do you agree with it?
Hey, that rings a bell
The silence was deafening
That sounds good to us
We can tell if you are tuned in, or whether you have tuned out
Are you catching on to what is being explained?
We need concrete evidence
How does that make you feel?
Do you ever feel left out?
Get a grip!
Do you feel you are getting a grasp of the issue at hand?
It is important to get a handle on things right at the beginning
I cannot get hold of the Manager
That was hard
Careful with harsh words, they could come back to bite you
We need to make contact with all the employees
Does that make sense to you?
Don't be so sensitive, so touchy
That was good, solid content
We need to tap into these resources and throw out whatever is impracticable
Only if we do that can we turn the business around
Change is the only constant
We need to chart our progress regularly to stay ahead
How could you conceive such a plot?
We need to consider all the alternatives
Upon what criteria are you basing your assessment?
We need to decide one way or the other
We need to keep these two sections distinct from each other
That was an amazing experience!
I know what you mean
Life-long learning is the only way to live a fulfilling life
Yes, that makes sense
We need to give people the skill to self-motivate
Planning is a necessity
The process that we have for change implementation needs revision
Be sensible! That isn't possible
List all the steps necessary
Think about it and then act
Do you understand what I am saying?
This is very powerful stuff. With repeated practice you can have your conversations flowing between each of the above communication styles.
You will have the attention of everyone you are communicating with and rapport-building will be easy.
Gloria M Hamilten is a recognized authority in disciplines within Personal Development and People Skills for Business Professionals, such as Time Management, Negotiation Skills, Developing High-Performance Teams, Assertion Skills, Building International Rapport, Conflict Management and Resolution, Presentation and Platform Skills.
Her studies in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Psychology have lead to her researching brain disorders such as AD-HD and its relations.
She has her own training business, and conducts courses for Corporate Organizations, Sporting groups and Tertiary Educational Institutions in Australia.
Her professional experience covers over 30 years of study, research, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, presentations and workshops. Her clientele includes children as well as adults.
Gloria Hamilten has authored the eBook: “Successful Self-Hypnosis" and many Reports and online articles.
Her websites provide a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything within these genres.
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