How to Break the Chain of Vicious Circle


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Ever had one of those days, when things just spin out of control no matter what you do? You have? So have I. Welcome to the club of “life on rotation". Because this is what happens when vicious circle takes over your life.

This, however, does not have to be. Personally and professionally, I have found 5 strategies to be most effective in stopping yourself from going into a catatonic maze in times of vicious circle. These strategies are interrelated, and when applied can help you keep your sanity.

1. Shift your focus by letting go of the problem and not trying to fix things. There are times when situations are best left alone temporarily. Your wanting to control a volatile or calamitous situation when you are overwhelmed only makes things worse. The best thing is to turn your attention to other matters and relax.

Getting yourself to relax may be difficult at first when a problem is gnawing at you. When this happens, take a deep breath, listen to your intuition and move away from the scene of tension. Take charge and do what is good for you. Be creative and take a break. Just remember this, fretting won't solve your problem!

2. Choose your thoughts consciously. It is only natural that when things get out of control your thinking gets impaired. Still, it is important to watch your thoughts and emotions. For these are powerful energy which can constrict or open your path to finding new solutions, depending on how you use them.

I have great admiration for people who are able to remain calm and collected in the heat of recurring catastrophes. These people often radiate a special glow which seems to single them out.

I once asked a medical assistant of a colleague, how she was always able to remain poised in the midst of all the drama that went on 24/7 at work. She smiled at me and replied that when she was young her mother always reminded her that she could choose the way she wanted to see things, especially in difficult times. She said that knowledge was what got her through primary school. Because the kids were often cruel to her, since she never knew her father. So instead of thinking herself depraved, she chose to think of herself as being privileged to have the special love and attention of her mother all to herself!

3. Change and raise your vibration by focusing on what gives you joy.

When you choose thoughts that support you and your condition, the built up pressure wears off and you are more at ease. This makes it easier to raise your inner vibration from this position.

Connect with the source of life by remembering all the goodness surrounding you and feel grateful for being alive and well.

Laugh out loudly at yourself, sing off key… etc. , be funny, be silly! Do whatever gets you into a natural high vibrancy of total bliss. Fully feel the excitement of the moment as your body tingles with renewed energy.

4. Be open to others. Invite other people into your life by having a giving heart. Share your knowledge and joy with people who need and want them.

When you are caught in a whirlwind of confusion, it is easy to get wrapped up in yourself and your problem. This is understandable, but it is the least helpful way to finding solutions. “You cannot fight your way out of a cyclone when you're sitting right in the middle of it's wailing noise" is a favourite expression of one of my great mentors.

Learn to wait for things to quiet down and then connect with other people for comfort and nurturing. Everyone has a story to tell and by sharing your story with others, you'll find comfort in knowing that you're not alone. This is a fact of life which we often forget.

5. Say ‘no’ firmly to yourself when necessary and move on. Leave behind whatever is not serving you for something new.

Sometimes we may experience moments of vicious circle in our lives, because we refuse to see what is happening to us. A change may be overdue and it is time to let go and move on. If you have ever fought hard to hold on to something and tried various angles to succeed, all to no avail. Maybe you realised that the more you tried the more calamity you encountered? Here is a suggestion:

Stop trying and give yourself the permission to quit. A Few days later, observe how you feel. My guess is that you will feel better and more in control. This is the state you want to attain and maintain to break the chain of any vicious circle.

Be consistent in implementing these strategies, and in no time you'll find that no vicious circle is able to hold you captive ever again.

Kunbi Korostensky N. D. , Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach is specialised in supporting people going through various life changes, such as after a divorce, bereavement and dealing effectively with teenagers. Check out her ebooklet: Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at


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