Desire and internal motivation are great equalizers. They can make up for a lack of education, a lack of a favorable background, and any number of other life adversities. For years people have been preaching the benefits and value of self-motivation and goals as a way to achieve success, wealth, and happiness. Why, then, do people lose their desire or motivation? One of the reasons is what I call de-motivators.
Let’s look at de-motivators. A de-motivator is anything—a person, or a circumstance—that acts upon you in such a way that your interpretation and your subsequent behavior are negative, passive, or self-destructive. There are hundreds of examples of de-motivators; here are just a few:
-negative people, -people who invalidate you, -people who don’t listen, care, or show interest in you or your thoughts/ideas, -an incorrect personal interpretation of failure, problems, and/or adversity, -goals that are consistently too high or too low, -managers who rely on fear and punishment as motivators.
There are, as I see it, six basic steps to peak performance behavior and results when it comes to self-motivation:
1. know what you want. 2. Know why you want it. 3. Know how you will get it. 4. Know what may stand in your way to achieve it: outside (circumstances, people, events) or inside
(attitudes, emotions, fears, doubts). 5. Become aware of the outside-in and inside-out de-motivators and develop a plan to deal with them,
prevent them or manage them. 6. Do something. Begin. Start.
De-motivators come in all shapes and sizes. They can be your personal demons that no one but you is ever aware of, or they can be a corporate policy or family rule that contributes to an “I don’t care any more" attitude. Apathy is one of the most destructive human emotions when it comes to performance, productivity, happiness, success, motivation, and overall behavior. If you want success, determine what is getting in your way and remove it. Questions –
1. What or who motivates you. Why?
2. What or who de-motivates you? Why?
3. What is your strongest desire in life?
4. When you lose your motivation, what do you do?
5. What circumstances tend to cause you to lose your motivation?
6. What is your driving life philosophy?
7. What are some of the recurring dramas or problems in your life?
8. How would others describe your purpose in life?
9. What would you like to change about your life?
10. Are you more motivated in certain areas of your life?
11. Do you consider yourself money or service motivated?
12. What do you have in common with your heroes?
13. Do you have your life purpose written down anywhere?
14. Are your actions consistent with your purpose and desire?
15 Do you have a series of warning signs or guideposts that alert you to the fact that your desire or motivation may be in jeopardy?
16. Are you able to maintain your desire in the face of failure? How?
17. Do you have the habit of giving up too soon? If yes, why?
18. Are you able to motivate yourself or do you rely on outside motivators?
Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org , 704-895-1230 or visit his website at http://www.timconnor.com