Hidden Self Confidence

 


Visitors: 840

Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to appreciate and build on their personal strengths.

Peer independence is the ability to ‘stick to your guns’ in the face of opposition or dissent from your peers. Some individuals have exceptionally high levels of peer independence, for which we should all be thankful. Peer independent people are the heroes in our society, the ones with moral courage who will stand up for truth and justice, regardless of fashion. Peer independence is a special, and relatively rare, aspect of self confidence.

As a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management, I regularly work with people with low self esteem or who perceive themselves to be lacking in confidence. Low self esteem can have its roots in a variety of sources - accidents of upbringing, inherited disposition, recent misfortune. We are all vulnerable to this curse; just consider the way you feel immediately after receiving an insult. Low self esteem can affect anybody, with some of us more susceptible than others.

Yet when working with people who rate their own personal value quite poorly, who profess themselves utterly lacking in confidence, I often find that my clients have normal or even above-average levels of peer independence. High levels of peer independence are typically seen in leaders. Think of top politicians and business leaders. For me, the ultimate peer independent person was Margaret Thatcher. Peer independent people are iconoclasts - they are not afraid to challenge convention.

When I find high levels of peer independence in a client I am always intrigued by the way their depressed self-image interacts with the honesty, integrity and refusal to compromise which are associated with peer independence. These are interesting people - frequently very caring, stubborn and somewhat misunderstood. The first step in helping such people to rebuild their confidence is to highlight their great strength. Because peer independence is a wonderful quality, and deserves to be understood. It can also be a social handicap; the peer independent person is rarely a flatterer or charmer.

All manner of people can be helped with their self esteem issues. I particularly love helping people who have high levels of peer independence, because the gains can be so impressive. A peer independent person with high self esteem is a force of nature - and a force for good. Society needs challengers, and a self confident, peer independent person can provide that constructive challenge.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem. For further information relating to peer independence, and to assess your own peer independence and other confidence-related qualities, see http://www.confidenceclub.net/content/peerindependence.php

(503)

Article Source:


 
Rate this Article: 
 
Low Self-Confidence? Try This Amazing Self-Confidence Tip!
Rated 4 / 5
based on 5 votes
ArticleSlash

Related Articles:

Hidden Job Market Secrets - 3 Ways To Find The Hidden Jobs

by: Brenda Ferguson Hodges (July 06, 2007) 
(Business)

Soy Protein: Hidden Ingredient, Hidden Danger

by: Harriet Hodgson (June 19, 2005) 
(Food and Drink)

Building Confidence in Children Strategies to Give Your Child Confidence and ..

by: Margaret Rowan (June 17, 2008) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

Self Confidence - 7 Secrets Steps for Building Unshakable High Confidence

by: Mickael Kerenterff (October 26, 2005) 
(Self Improvement/Positive Attitude)

Glow With Confidence - How You Can Have Body Image Confidence Starting From ..

by: Cheng Kee (August 02, 2008) 
(Self Improvement)

Building Self Confidence - 5 Steps to Always Walking in Triumphant Self ..

by: Bettina Langerfeldt (October 22, 2008) 
(Self Improvement/Inspirational)

Tips For Gaining Self Confidence - How To Enhance Your Self Confidence

by: Trevor Johnson (April 01, 2008) 
(Self Improvement/Success)

Confidence Is Key: How To Build Confidence in Children

by: Anne Clarke (July 13, 2006) 
(Home and Family/Parenting)

Teenagers Self Confidence Building Teens Self Confidence

by: Raymond Teh (June 23, 2008) 
(Self Improvement/Self Esteem)

Low Self-Confidence? Try This Amazing Self-Confidence Tip!

by: Jon Mercer (March 04, 2008) 
(Self Improvement/Self Esteem)