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You Have a Choice - A Secret of Relationships

Michael F Lipp

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I'm a coach and an activist for environmental sustainability, spiritual fulfillment and social justice. These activities often make me think politically, though I prefer not to. As an example, I was pleased that this administration gives far more in food assistance than was ever done before. Then I found out that the increase was mandatory. The budget is pegged to the population that requires food aid. This has skyrocketed so the budget has dramatically increased. Hunger is on the rise.

My political instincts are to rail and rant, to stomp my feet (verbally) and complain. But I'm a coach. My commitment is that around me people experience love and contribution, wisdom and harmony, So I remember that I have a choice and I perform one of the great secrets of relationships. I forgave them.

Forgiveness is most powerful when undeserved. How I can forgive is that I use what the Buddha said, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a different past. "

Let's look at this further. All of us have experienced pain from past or present relationships. And the pain withstands bandages and medication; it persists. It often lasts longer than the relationship, lasting into future relationships, affecting not only us, but people around us. It binds us tighter than any bandage - It affects our senses - how we see, hear, speak.

How can we forgive? Forgiveness is not logical. It has nothing to do with the person we forgive. It has everything to do with us, only us. They cannot make us feel better and we cannot make them have compensating suffering. Forgiveness grants freedom - not to them - to us. So how do we do it?

Of course, all we have to do is think, “I forgive xyz. " Unfortunately, that's not enough for most of us; forgiveness has to be physical. The best way is to go through a dialogue with xyz, but that's hard for almost all of us, possibly impossible. Next best is to ask someone to be a surrogate, to pretend to be xyz for you and describe xyz. Then tell him or her, “xyz, I want you to know I forgive you. " Finally, absent of that, just say it out loud or even just write it down. Make it physical.

Then done is done. Take yourself away from the past, away from morality, back into the present and always work towards new futures.

Michael Lipp, CEO of 1st Class Coaching, LLC is devoted to inspiring and empowering people to live fulfilled lives in harmony with the earth.

Michael is best known for his expertise in coaching people to have great lives. His clients say that his biggest impact comes from keeping it simple and having them accelerate their accomplishments.

You can learn more about Michael and his courses, coaching programs, and ebooks, at his website. Visit Michael's website, and get his free Report “A Satisfying Life in a Hurry Up World".

Michael is also a multi-faceted author - His books include, “Less Stress, More Wealth" and “Guide to a Fulfilled Life". You are also nvited to explore his blogs,


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