Most of us who are passing through midlife, will at times find ourselves feeling a little lost. Not a good feeling. We seem to be able to make no headway, and at every step we run up against another obstacle, another frustrating detour, more time wasted. We get discouraged, and at times like these it may be very difficult to see in our experience anything really positive. Nevertheless, as we all know in our heart of hearts, it all depends on how we look at things.
What's needed is a vision check.
First of all, it's important to see and really “get" the distinction “resistance. " Resistance is not mere difficulty. There's nothing wrong with difficulty which is often a natural part of any developmental change. An athlete getting into shape experiences difficulty, even pain, as she strengthens muscles and increases her stamina. Anyone learning a language knows how difficult it can be. There's nothing wrong with difficulty per se.
Resistance is also not the same thing as prudent caution. We may be tempted to try something that poses some level of risk or danger which it is simply not in our best interest to assume. Not acting in such conditions is just plain smart.
No, resistance, in the context of personal development, is a fear-based response to natural growth and positive change. It indicates that there is some new direction opening before us or some important action or decision to be made which we resist because we fear the loss of the familiar. And this is true, even if the familiar is something that no longer serves us.
To place this in the context of the Law of Attraction, the Universe always knows the best, fastest and most efficient way to deliver what we attract. There is a part of us that knows, that just knows, where the path to abundance lies and where it leads. There is another part of us, or many parts of us, that can't see or don't want to see anything other than what is already known and “under control. " This is true even if our present reality is disintegrating around us. We are like castaways on a tiny island that the sea is slowly but inexorably swallowing up. We would rather climb to the top of the one remaining palm tree, then step into the boat that is waiting on the shore. And precisely because we are confused and immobilized through this inner conflict, the Universe delivers to more confusion and more conflict. We attract what we think-and feel-about.
But the truth is that Nowhere, if nothing else, is somewhere to begin, for here we are invited to face our fears and work though our resistance, and by doing so find the way forward. Growth, we learn, often follows the path not of the least but of greatest resistance. But even the greatest source of resistance only has the power we lend it. That power is ours to revoke any time we please.
Here's what you'll need to move from Nowhere to Somewhere.
First, accept that you are spending a little time in the wilderness. Understand and be grateful that during this period of seeming inaction, there are forces at work that are actively seeking the road ahead.
Second, take a clear objective look at what you are afraid of. How many of those fears are based on any actual risk? How much of your current anxiety is just and only that, mere anxiety. Then look behind the fear. Are you afraid of really committing yourself to a new job, a new relationship, or a move to a new part of the world? What are you really afraid of. It could be that what is keeping you immobilized is that you worry you won't be able to live up to the opportunities that are being presented to you. If so, read on.
Third, align yourself with those who can support you. Most importantly, find those voices within yourself that champion your own success. Let them form the basis of your supportive community. Listen politely to your inner critics (otherwise they'll cause havoc!) and accept anything helpful that they may have to offer, but don't let them deter you.
Then find yourself a supportive community out there in the world. Join a Mastermind group, or if you can't find one, start one. Get yourself a coach or subscribe to one of the many valuable online programs. I personally have benefited greatly from the program developed by Bob Doyle, one Law of Attraction coaches featured in the movie The Secret. His website contains enough material for a dozen transformations, and includes links to others who offer more. There's more than enough help out there for anyone in any circumstance.
Just remember, even if you are now in the desert, even if now you have no idea what to do, where to go, or even what you want, calm your fears, pay attention to your own inner wisdom, find your mentors and traveling companions, and expect to see the road opening ahead. It's there already.
My name is John Lord. I am a teacher and a personal coach based in New York city and Puebla, Mexico. My personal mission is to help individuals who at mid-life are looking for proven ways to achieve personal transformation and success.
You can find out more about me and the work we are doing at: http://anotherolddog.blogspot.com