When was the last time you asked yourself that question? Do I really like me? What is it about me that I like?
Most people spend their lives speculating whether other people like them: Does…. like me? Am I attractive to ……? What have I done to upset…………
The upshot is you spend a considerable part of your life trying to please others. Trying not to offend others. Trying to keep the peace. No matter what.
Although you may well be successful using this method, the result is you spend most of your time doing what you think others would like. You are rarely effective.
Just think for a moment:
Rather than try to make others fall in love with you how about falling in love with yourself. I don’t mean that in a vain, egotistical, self absorbed way where you’re always looking in the mirror and telling others how good you are. But, do you like being with yourself? Do you like the person in your body? If you met you on the street would you stop and talk to you. If you were in need of help would you stop and help you or would you quickly cross the road and avoid you?
Go on Be honest with yourself. Do you like the person in your body?
You see, when we fall in love with ourselves. When we can accept ourselves for what we are. When we know all our faults, flaws and blemishes as well as our agreeable, and delightful qualities and still want to live with ourselves then we have a chance.
When you love yourself it shows in the way you look. Your eyes sparkle, your face looks happy, you smile a lot. You feel confident. You feel comfortable. You don’t try to second guess what someone is going to say to you. You feel calm and at one with yourself. In fact, in a nutshell, you are someone everyone would like to get to know.
You don’t have to worry about pleasing others. You don’t have to worry about doing the right thing. People like what they see and gravitate towards you because the language of your eyes has changed.
All you have to do is be honest with yourself. Of course you will make mistakes. Of course not everyone will like what they see. But if you focus on being honest with yourself, on working with the real you, then gradually, as you gain more and more experience, there will be less and less mistakes.
There is a little secret. The secret is; as you become more and more at one with yourself, you become more and more composed and unruffled when you are with others.
But the best bit is: as you feel less anxious, less tense and peaceful you become happier.
Yes, you got it. The more contented you are with yourself. The more peaceful you become, the Happier you become. And it is that peace and happiness that shows on your face and then attracts others to you.
See, it’s simple. All you have to do is like the real you.
Stop thinking to yourself I mustn’t hurt that person. I don’t want to upset them. What can I do to keep them happy? Just focus on YOU.
In other words, stop banging your head against the wall, focus on the real you and do what’s best for you and watch your relationships improve.
Graham and Julie
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