Ya gotta love “Happy People. " No offense to those that have “positive" attitudes, for this is to be admired, but let's be real. A lot of this positive “mumble-jumble" honestly gets on my nerves. Even more so, those that put out lists of how to actually be “happy". Where I find myself realistically “miserable, " I much prefer my own lists in aiding myself of being what I deem as “happy". I have a friend who is in Australia, she and I have been friends for so long, she of course shares my morbid beliefs of happiness or so I thought. She of all people has sent me an email which consists of how to be happy, therefore, I am going to show this list and give my own interpretation.
1. “GIVE PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY EXPECT AND DO IT CHEERFULLY"!
This concept makes me chuckle and makes me wonder if it includes instances such as beating someone up. Can you imagine slapping someone upside their head but performing this task with a smile?
2. MARRY A MAN/WOMAN YOU LOVE TO TALK TO. AS YOU GET OLDER THEIR CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS WILL BE AS IMPORTANT AS ANY OTHER.
In other words, because both of you will be too old to “get it on", you can at least talk “dirty" to one another, I never thought of that one before.
3. “DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR. SPEND ALL YOU HAVE AND SLEEP ALL YOU WANT.
I agree with the first part of this one. referencing the second part; this makes me think of people with addictions, I feel this one is not realistic.
4. “WHEN YOU SAY “I LOVE YOU" MEAN IT"!
Does this also apply to “I"LL CALL YOU"?
5. “WHEN YOU SAY “I'M SORRY", LOOK THAT PERSON IN THE EYE.
This works well if you have perfected the “Puppy Dog Look".
6. “BE ENGAGED AT LEAST SIX-MONTHS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED".
Why bother prolonging the marriage? In all actuality, you are prolonging your divorce for six months, GET IT OVER WITH PEOPLE!
7. “BELIEVE IN “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT"!
I do believe beer has been aiding us with this concept since the 17th Century.
8. “NEVER LAUGH AT ANYONE'S DREAMS. PEOPLE WHO DON'T DREAM DO NOT HAVE MUCH".
So when my coworker informs me he wants to join a circus I am suppose to listen to him with a straight face? People who don't dream are mentally insane, look it up, it's true!!! :)
9. “LOVE DEEPLY AND PASSIONATELY. YOU MIGHT GET HURT BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE LIFE COMPLETELY".
I apply this concept to my shoe collection. I deeply and passionately love “SHOES", I'm glad someone can FINALLY understand me on this one.
10. “IN DISAGREEMENTS, FIGHT FAIRLY, NO NAME CALLING".
This statement does not mention kicking someone “where it hurts".
11. “DON'T JUDGE SOMEONE BY THEIR RELATIVES".
Jerry Springer has became rich by judging people by their relatives, I believe he has the right concept.
12. “TALK SLOWLY BUT THINK QUICKLY".
Is this possible?
13. “WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU A QUESTION DON'T WANT TO ANSWER, SMILE AND ASK, “WHY DO YOU WANT KNOW"?
I do believe we actually DO want to do this.
14. “REMEMBER THAT GREAT LOVE AND GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS INVOLVE GREAT RISK".
Why am I still thinking of my shoe collection?
15. “SAY “BLESS YOU" WHEN SOMEONE SNEEZES".
So I guess stating “You stupid Bastard you sneezed on me"! Wouldn't work here?
16. “WHEN YOU LOSE, DON'T LOSE THE LESSON".
EXACTLY!! When you lose, remember what you did wrong and come back a second time and kick their butt!
17. “REMEMBER THE THREE “R's". RESPECT FOR ONE'S SELF. RESPECT FOR OTHERS. RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONE'S ACTIONS.
Ok, I"m going to sum this one up with an example in which this could possibly apply. Have enough respect for ones self to not get loaded at the local sports bar and decide you want to sit naked for all to view, for if you do, you'll go to jail. (if not beat up by the locals).
18. “DON'T LET A LITTLE DISPUTE RUIN A GREAT FRIENDSHIP".
Does a small endowed boyfriend who slept with my girlfriend apply here?
19. “WHEN YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE, TAKE IMMEDIATE STEPS TO CORRECT IT".
In other words, have a lawyer on speed dial.
20. “SMILE WHEN PICKING UP THE PHONE, THE CALLER WILL HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE".
I'm definitely going to try this one especially at work, I want to see if it holds true as I"m informing the caller to “Bite my butt".
21. “SPEND TIME ALONE".
People in prison must have this concept down.