Ego Is The Biggest Cause Of Unhappiness

Tim Connor

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Everyone has an ego. It is the selfish part of us and it is necessary for survival. It can be useful in dealing with certain difficult situations or people. The problems begin when the ego gets out of hand and begins to consume attitudes, behavior and relationships.

Essentially, the ego wants us to:

1. control
r 2. manipulate
r 3. look good
r 4. look better than others
r perceived as smarter than others
r 6. talk about ourselves a great deal

When a person’s ego is out-of-control, he/she can often be perceived by others as arrogant, aggressive, pushy, insensitive, manipulative and boring. It isn’t that these people are boring, it is just that they want to dominate anything and everyone they interact with or touch. I am confident you know several people whose ego is out-of-control. I ask you, do you like being with them? Working for them? Being married to them? I’ll bet not.

Why? Because they seem only to be interested in their own needs, desires, ideas and activities. They have little desire to listen to you or to your ideas – no matter how good your ideas may be. These people might even take credit for stolen ideas. What can you do if your ego is off the chart?

First of all, remember that you are not your ego unless you choose to give up control of yourself to it. It is just one of the many parts of you. You are so much more than your ego. You are a spiritual being with a soul. You are a human being with a heart, which has the capacity to care, love, accept, understand and feel compassion. Secondly, don’t forget that when your ego is in charge, your heart takes a back seat. Learn to take that 18-inch journey – living your life from your heart rather than your mind. Difficult, yes. Necessary for happiness, absolutely.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at , 704-895-1230 or visit his website at


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