Daily life, all the ups and downs all of us experience, offers plenty of opportunities for building a list of events that have occurred, or judgments to which we have fallen victim, that we wish had gone another way. There is an explanation that immediately comes to mind when one seeks to improve on this constant pattern.
First, do your level best not to set yourself up. By that, I mean, don’t waste energy in deciding how some event is going to play out before the fact. Don’t misunderstand: it is a great idea to visualize the outcome ahead of time because the passion and energy you feel when you are visualizing is a powerful determiner of the eventual outcome. The secret, though, is to let go of your sense of control once you have visualized the outcome. Yes, you can see the outcome and influence it. No, you cannot determine it with certainty. If you seek to hold on—to tie yourself emotionally to a particular outcome—the disappointment if you don’t get what you want is only what you should expect.
If, on the other hand, you have done your preparation, have visualized the outcome you seek, and have released it for the universe to make come true, more often than not the outcome will be just as you have seen it in your preparation.
It’s not magic. It is simply how the universe functions. We all, each and every one of us, have the ability to influence the result that we see. If we believe we do, we will see this to be true as evidenced by the way our lives play out. As is the nature of this mechanism, if we don’t believe in it, we will also see exactly what we expect: the proof that it is not true; the proof that we are victims; the proof that we exert no influence at all.
The bottom line is, when we are functioning at the level within which our everyday lives are lived, there is a need to have something against which we push. That “eat or be eaten" existence is common in the world today.
If, in contrast, we are able to rise above that “beat them so we can be the winner" attitude, we find ourselves on a completely different playing field. What if we all win when we play? What if, instead of there being the victor and the humiliated, there are only celebrants!?! The opportunity to create this outcome is real, and it is in use already by many people. Those of us who have not chosen to see this chance are stuck in a place that offers no hope, but only the dichotomy of joy or pain. As long as we insist on having an obstacle, one will exist. When we surrender and cease to struggle, there will be no obstacle.
I’m not lobbying for the abolishment of sports that many love to play and watch, because this world is all about winning and losing, even for those of us who seek a different way to view life: we still can be entertained by the world of win/lose. What I am proposing is a means by which we can pull ourselves away from the nitty-gritty world of plus/minus, win/lose, and at least temporarily experience the joy of “we’re all in this together".
Because we are.
Rick Hamrick is a Sufi mystic disguised as a corporate IT guy.