We have all been educated to acquire things. We have been taught how to get an education, get a job, buy a house. There are lots of courses to teach us whatever it is that we need to know. But what education do we receive about dealing with loss? Where can we go to learn to deal with the conflicting feelings caused by significant emotional loss? Loss is so much more predictable and inevitable than gain, and yet we are woefully unprepared to deal with it.
Whether you suffer from the death of a loved one, the death of a not-so-loved one, divorce, breakup, being fired from your job, *** or spouse abuse, emotional trauma, loss of trust or any other significant loss, the grief you feel can be paralyzing. Some people suffer from losses that happened 20 years ago, and some suffer from the losses we all sustained on 9/11. We are all grievers.
Grief is the conflicting mass of human emotion that we experience following any change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief just doesn’t “take time, ” there are small and steady steps necessary to “say goodbye” and go on living.
When you can say good-bye to your loss and are able to move on to life, end your isolation from those you love, and regain joy and passion and celebration, then you have healed.
When you heal, you will. . .
* Be able to mention important life-losses without tears or fears.
* No longer need to talk about the past with anger.
* Say goodbye to loved ones, and to less-than-loved ones.
* Let go of those images which cause you to doubt yourself and your ability.
* Project a positive self-image to yourself and to the world.
* Raise your kids with love and confidence.
* Learn how to forgive those who have hurt you in the past.
* Freely embrace those who love you.
And then your losses will be your life-teachers forever. And then you will journey from mourning to morning…
Dr. Mel Glazer is a Grief Recovery Specialist working in private practice with grievers all across America. You can visit his website at http://www.yourgriefmatters.com. Dr. Glazer has served as a Rabbi, Author, and Speaker for over thirty years, and he is recognized as a pioneer in the art of using our life-losses to help us learn life-lessons. Some examples of loss include: the death of a loved one, or a less-than-loved-one; divorce; serious physical, mental or emotional illness; financial distress; the end of a serious relationship; when a child leaves home for college; and even the death of a pet. Each loss creates a grief reaction, and we must be able to complete our relationship with our loss before we can move past it. He is widely published, and his upcoming book, And God Created Hope: How Our Favorite Bible Stories Lead Us From Mourning To Morning (2006), follows in the footsteps of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. He lives in Stroudsburg PA, where he is the Rabbi of Temple Israel of the Poconos.