Regret - to remember with sense of loss or feeling of having done amiss; to wish otherwise" - Chambers Dictionary
"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again to few to mention"
Frank Sinatra, My Way
How many people can say that?
Have you any regrets?
What do you do about these regrets? Do you dwell on them until they fester? Do you ask yourself, what can I do? Do these regrets stop you taking risks?
Are you holding on to missed opportunities, what should you have done, what could you have done, what if . . . . . . . . etc?
There are ways of dealing with a regret but first of all ask yourself -do you want to deal with your regrets?
Regrets can become a noose around your neck and interfere with your life and your motivation. They can cause you to be unhappy, have feelings that you don't want to have.
Where is carrying round your disappointments, missed opportunities, focusing on what could have been or would have done getting you? What use is it to you to keep these feelings of missed opportunities? How much better for you to learn from them. If you are constantly focusing on what you did or didn't do when will you have time to see what lies ahead. “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us".
Don't hold on to your past to the detriment of your future. This takes courage, a lot of courage to move on. There is always something better ahead and you will not see it if you keep looking behind.
It is never too late, , . take for instance a 70 year old man, who always wanted a degree - and he went out and got it! How must he have felt? Well he felt elated and that the world was his oyster.
Are you holding on to missed opportunities by holding on to regrets about the past? Do you continue to focus on what you should have, could have, and would have done? Encumbering yourself with “what ifs" will not bring these opportunities back to you. You shouldn't dwell on missed opportunities, but take in the knowledge that you've gained in return.
Tips for dealing with regrets you may have:
Don't look back look forward
Make friends with them, acknowledge them, accept them and then put them away.
Make this your time for No Regrets
Take a step back and see it from a different perspective, what could you have done differently?
Identify what exactly the regret is. Are your feeling distorting the memory, did you have any responsibility over this regret.
Learn from these feelings, so you don't do it again.
Recognise what it is doing for you holding on to these regrets
If there is something you can do about it, do it now. Forgive yourself and anyone else that may be involved.
Set yourself a goal to make list of any regrets that you may have and DEAL WITH THEM.
In the “American Idol" show a man was featured who cracked under the pressure of the Hollywood and he voluntarily took himself out of the running at that point to preserve his sanity. When he walked back into the testing room for this year's audition, he explained to the judges that he had awakened every day since that fateful decision, and had regretted not seeing the competition through. He said that he was there to try out again to prove to himself that he wasn't a quitter, or to avoid living with any more regrets. He sang his heart out, made it through to the Hollywood round again, and walked out with tears streaming down his face, saying he had just “won, " regardless of the final outcome of this year's show.
Remembering the words of Edith Piaf's beautiful Song Non - Je ne Regrette Rien
No, no regrets
No, we will have no regrets
As you leave, I can say
Love was king, but for only a day
Life still goes on
Yes, even though love has gone
One last kiss
Shrug and sign
No Regrets even though it's goodbye
(Lyric provided by John Bol email@example.com)
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