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Reclaim Your Joy


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What now? It's always something. As soon as we get one thing solved or understood, something else shows up. It's a constant, endless journey that, depending on how connected we are to our hearts, can be wonderful opportunities to grow or painful experiences that cause physical, mental and emotional imbalances. I have found that most people have spent a lifetime disconnected from their hearts and identifying themselves through their thoughts. From the moment we start school, it's all about achieving results. So, in order to survive, we learn to work from our minds. We rationalize, criticize, evaluate, analyze and compare. I am not saying this is wrong or right-it's a mechanism we have to develop in order to survive.

As we get older, though, we want to feel good again. We want to feel loved, accepted, acknowledged. We want to feel some kind of energy inside going on. We look for companions to make us feel good. Food, sports and the arts also trigger feelings. If we could create a balance of the mind and heart, then all would be well. But I don't see this very often.

I see a high divorce rate, teenage pregnancies, overweight people, money problems, drug and alcohol addiction, disease. I see people seeking answers through television talk hosts, tapes, CDs, books and motivational speakers. Around the world, I see war, human suffering and neglect. These issues repeat themselves throughout time. My parents had WWII; I had the Vietnam War; today's it's the Iraq war. I am sure you are aware of the social issues that have been going on for centuries.

Stressful situations are in everybody's life everywhere before us and will continue to show up after we are gone.

The key to handling stress is how you show up and deal with it. If you have spent a lifetime disconnected from your heart, you're going to be affected by stress. How do you know if you are disconnected? Watch your reactions, starting with your body sensations. Scan your body and look for tension. Headaches, tight muscles, clenched jaws, developing a cold, weight gain, fatigue are good examples of being out of alignment with your heart. Anger, impatience, complaining, blaming others, worry are stressful emotional reactions. Mentally, watch your stinkin’ thinkin', critical comments, judgments and too much talking rather than quiet time listening within.

If you spend time becoming a “feeling human" again, you would feel joy, gratitude, contentment, peace, detachment. It would be effortless, too. Choosing to feel good creates an attitude of acceptance, rather than judgment; thus, a desire to resist or fix something won't be an issue anymore. It does take practice because you have spent years playing by a different set of rules.

To become a feeling human, it takes a conscious choice to make your feelings a high priority. It is a discipline at first, and there are techniques you can learn to do this. So, when you wake up and dread the idea of starting another day, try the following technique.

First, be willing to feel whatever negative feeling you feel right now. Don't try to repress it, talk yourself out of it, make excuses for it-just feel it. If you do not feel joyful the moment you wake up, then you have to create the space for this joy to surface and you can only do this by feeling those feelings you don't want to feel.

Second, embrace them as your own. It's easy to blame your parents, circumstances, spouse or employer. Just acknowledge that these feelings came from you and that's okay. Just say to yourself: “Hmm, I've created some tension here. It feels sad. "

Third, take the judgment, the thoughts, out of the feelings. Just allow yourself to feel these feelings. When you label these feelings as anger, unfairness, sadness, you've jumped back into your mind and out of your heart.

Fourth, release the feeling and feel the relief. Use whatever release technique you feel good about and let the feelings go. I send love to the feelings and then love to myself for feeling these feelings. But you can melt them into the light or hand them over to your inner guides. It doesn't really matter as long as you feel a sense of relief.

Fifth, focus on something or someone you love and allow yourself to feel this same good feeling for you. Let the love in and be grateful for this chance to create a good feeling and let go of a negative one. Turn this love to yourself; really feel it.

Once you start to do this, your natural state of joy and abundance will return and you'll find yourself one day waking up and wanting to get out of bed, rather than wishing you could just skip dealing with all these issues, responsibilities or stressful situations. This inner strength of empowerment is magnetic. Watch the magic that happens in your life once you start to invest in your well-being.

Cynthia Christianson, self-help coach, can be reached at 352-374-7982 or She offers a free 30-minute coaching session, a free online newsletter, and an eight-week “Keep Moving Forward" program that covers life core issues and self-empowerment.

Cynthia Christianson has been a personal and professional coach for 10 years. Her business is designed to teach and mentor others to help themselves by giving her clients the tools to do this. She offers a free 30 minute coaching session, an online free newsletter and a website to read more about her program. Please visit: or call her at 352-3743-7982.


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