The true purpose of anger is to stimulate us to take action. The more that we can be present in us with our feelings and express them in some way we release anger with greater ease. The best example of the expression of anger and letting it go quickly is from animals. They are direct with acting upon anger then once the situation is finished they quickly go back to a calmer demeanor. The key these creatures have is an immediate recognition of anger in them selves.
The problem is that most of us were not taught to be present with our anger in some way or form. Some of the more common themes that we create of a distorted view of anger are: good children don't get mad, a dominating force over us to create submission, or confronting anger with more anger. What they all have in common is a basis in fear and not allowing that person to express them selves in a constructive way.
If we are present and acknowledge our own anger it is often enough. Although there are times of acting on your anger is needed. But, in this world of manners and consequences when we go beyond boundaries of social mores we are sometimes stuck without an opportunity to express ourselves. The most important thing to remember in these situations is that we express and process our anger in some way. Most of the time all of what is required is to explore it either alone, with a friend or in a therapeutic setting.
For those who have had a history of suppressing anger they may not be as aware that they are angry. It may be some time later that they realize that there were angry. They may have suppressed their feelings with years of rationales and justification of why they should not be angry that it takes a very strong event to occur before they feel angry. This group was probably taught in some aversive way that feeling or expressing anger is not OK and/or safe.
For those that express anger in an overly aggressive way. It is a fear of being the person down or hurt that they are avoiding. They took the perspective it is better to dominate than suppress.
What the two perspectives have in common is a fear (for most part unconscious) to be present with the anger that they experience. The reaction is different, one projects it out to others and the other brings it inward. It is important to not judge either viewpoint as more right or wrong, better or worse. People choose differently due to their environment, upbringing, sibling order, and other variables.
The first step in breaking out of your own cycle is the realization that it is your own creation. The people that influenced you to be a certain way did not create you or your limitations. Some though had very few choices but to express anger by suppressing or dominating. It is important not to judge you as wrong for what you have chosen.
The freedom begins in you identifying how you react to anger. It is seeing the patterns that you have created. What are the triggers or situations that stimulate you to dominate with anger or suppress it? What are the dynamics of your past that are creating the patterns that you are living now? Was it a dominating parent, or a passive influence? It is good to start with an analytic look.
When you can begin to see the dynamics of the situations that you have grew up with and are currently living in it is time to take it to another step. Begin look at the stressful incidents of your life to feel what it is like in your body. Where are the intensities of these memories stored? Does your stomach tense when you relive these memories? Is the upset of a memory stored in our solar plexus? Our body holds these memories energetically and these suppressed fears unconsciously influence us to recreate the situation again and again. It is our body's way of trying to resolve these issues. There are easier ways.
Our mind on the other hand reacts to the unconscious influence that the suppressed anger or fear is recreating. It will respond to a present day situation with the intensity that we were experiencing with a suppressed anger from childhood. That is why we are triggered to be overly angry in a situation and not understand why. It is the same mechanics of why we do not understand why we are depressed or have anxiety attacks.
The process of letting go of these distressed memories is feeling the intensity of the past anger without judging it. To feel it as fully as possible, perceive what it is like to perceive all of the rage and fury. It is important to remember not to fear or judge it (how bad and awful it was). Be an observer of the situation. You are starting the process of letting it go.
In addition to the above exploratory processes I like using the tools of Access Energy Transformation because thoughts, beliefs, and emotions are cleared on a cellular level. When we can find the deep energetic memories of these events a huge release of the suppression can be released permanently and quickly. It is a process of identifying the anger, feeling it and clearing it. It is very effective to change your limitations with anger.
Bart Sharp is an Access Learning Facilitator from Austin, TX. Through the years Bart has worked on variety of issues with individuals and groups. Bart likes the Access tools as they release people's limitations quickly and permanently. Many people feel a visceral release of the limitations during the session. Check out our audio and video library to experience Access go to http://www.bartsharp.com or http://www.accessaustinenergy.com.