"I have an Aunty, my aunty loves eating brinjal, I hate eating brinjal, So I hate my Aunty. " What I did is, I mixed my aunty with brinjal. I must understand that my aunty is not brinjal. Similarly, “Ganpat is my peon, Ganpat comes late to office, I do not like people coming late, I do not like Ganpat. " I have mixed Ganpat as a person with one of his negative quality of coming late. “My boss is nagging, I do not like nagging, I hate my boss. "
Friends, what we do is confuse our self and mix people and their negative quality. Separate people from their qualities and love people unconditionally. Lets work on dealing with the negative quality. Also, understand, that by you getting angry, negative qualities may not always change or improve.
Why people get angry is they have high expectations from others, high standards of performance and when this does not match, they flare up. Let me ask you one simple question, By you getting angry, “CAN A DONKEY BECOME A HORSE?" Its sheer IMPOSSIBLE, that a donkey become a horse, yes, your blood pressure may rise, and you may develop ulcers in the process. Although you can not make a Donkey a Horse, but you can always make a Donkey a Better Donkey. In fact, if you just look at the good and positive quality of the donkey, and acknowledge it, there are many chances that the donkey will be a “better donkey".
Lets see how we can manage anger, now: Some tips. .
Stop REACTING . . . . . ! Instead; PAUSE - THINK & then ACT (PROACTIVE) List five things which make you angry, be specific, then rank them from 1 to 5, using 1 for the one which angers you most. Next to each one write down the main reason why it makes you angry. (People, Situations, Events basically the Trigger ) Finally, write down next to each one what you do when you are angry in such a situation. Include your physical responses as well as what you do and say, discuss your list with your partner.
Now find a near and dear one with whom you may sit and work, to see if you can think of an alternative assertive response to each situation, or when ever the Trigger is pulled. . what can you do instead. .
Please do share your feedback of the same. . .
May your day be filled with inspiration and passion!
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