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Temper Management 101

Steve Wickham

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Pushed to Respond? Has the pressure been on and you've found yourself simmering and you've flared up? Does it sound familiar?

For those who have a temper, anger management will be an issue to contend with for the rest of their life.  No matter how long it's been since you last ‘blew up’ it is only around the corner if you're not aware of it, or if you haven't done anything to deal with it.

I know from personal experience that you can be in the middle of ‘an episode’ and have a vague awareness within that sort of says, “What's going on here; what made you snap?" or, “Settle down, it's not that bad. . . look at how you're scaring your loved ones with your anger!" It is very rare that I snap these days, and when I do it is not that destructive, but the potential is there and I am one person who needs to be constantly reminded of the negative power of my temper.

What are some general ideas to manage temper?

- Discover your trigger(s) and by becoming aware of the stimuli that produces the triggers in you to ‘fuse blowing. '

- Find your own personal strategies to cope with stimuli productively.  It needs to be your issue, owned by you.  

- Ask yourself, “What could be the underlying issue within me causing me enough frustration to lose my temper?" There is always an underlying issue.

- You only get there with a tenacity to meet your nemesis and grow through it.  It's a case of trial and error and continual readiness to learn and improve.

- If all else fails seek professional help.

- Always say sorry, and always seek forgiveness.  Even then, it might mean you've done your dash.  Do you deserve another chance to be trusted? Be honest.

In reality we have one of two options open to us in responding to life situations.  1) Respond in fear i. e. anger, temper, envy, malice etc, or 2) respond in love - the antithesis of fear.

We cannot respond in love without faith.  If we don't have faith we have no love to offer, and no strength of love to hold our tongues and resist blowing.  Additionally, we need the sight of hope.  We need to be able to ‘see’ hope.  Feel hopeless and you've not got a chance.

Anger never achieves anything of worth.  By taking time to cool down and then address the problem in the cool light of day, there is always a way that will work in every situation.

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham.  All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living and an exploration of the person within us, and especially the breaking of generational curses.


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