5 Simple Steps to Controlling Your Anger


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How many times have you lost control of yourself when you're angry? Did you do or said something which you regretted over time?

I guess we all did. It's normal, and afterall, we are just human beings.

Everyone of us faces problems with anger. The main difference between you and me is that, do you know how to gain control of your anger, instead of letting it control you.

It's not easy to gain control of your anger, especially when you are provoked into such situations. Nevertheless, if you are facing with this situation next time, you can try out my 5 simple steps.

Step 1 : Identify what makes you upset

Start with identifying what upsets your feelings or emotions. Pull yourself aside from everything you are doing or the anger situation you are in, then take a deep breathe and clear your mind. Think, what brought you into this situation.

You need to know what is wrong in order to correct it. Right?

Step 2 : Use them as a stop signal

When you are done with Step 1, you'd probably already knew what made you angry. You might not have the complete clear idea of it, but it's OK. At least you have "some" ideas.

Use these as stop signs for your anger. You're upset because the little voices inside your head are telling yourself upsetting things. This in return causes a stir in your feelings, therefore resulting in anger.

Stop all these little voices from talking within yourself, and you'll be able to think independantly and not being influenced by them and the situation.

Step 3 : Tell yourself positive things

It's important to think positive. You can counteract your upsetting thoughts with framing your mind to have a positive self-message. Tell yourself something nice that will make you feel better.

For instance, "this anger feeling is only temporary and I don't want to say or do something stupid which I will regret for my actions later. "

Put the brakes on your feelings. Tell yourself to slow down and take it easy.

Step 4 : Make yourself clear

Clarify the situation for yourself. Ask yourself, “What is really going on in this situation?"

You can then feel disappointed with the situation but not enraged at the people who are creating it.

Step 5 : Think of constructive goals

Try to set more realistic goals for yourself in regard to the problem situation that you are in.

Ask yourself, “What are the alternative solutions that I use to resolve this situation?"

Be specific as possible, and concrete.

"What can you do to change this situation?"

List out the constructive options that you have in mind in which to reach your goals.

Ask yourself, “What constructive actions can I take to reach my goals?"

Finally, choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act fast on it.

The 5 simple steps that I had just pointed out to you are exactly what I do whenever I face with anger situations. You can try them out when you face with such situations.

Everyone gets angry at times, but the important thing is, "What can you do to overcome this situation?".

Gain control of your anger, rather than letting it control you.

Jamie Sullivan is a mother of 3 children aged between 4-16 years old and an author of “Child Anger Revealed - Your Ultimate Guide To Deal With Them Effectively" at http://www.ManageYourChild.com .


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