Living in the same household with an alcoholic can be devastating and coping with alcoholism in an already miserable marriage is even worse.
The constant making of excuses for his behavior begins to get mundane. Sooner or later you start to lose your own sense of well being and self-esteem.
If your alcoholic is a smoker, you will reach the point to where you are afraid to leave the house for fear he will fall asleep with a lit cigarette and burn it down. If he becomes angry and aggressive when he drinks this will lead you to have anxiety attacks, nervous and emotional breakdowns.
Trying to make or keep an alcoholic happy is virtually impossible, after all he has given up all his emotional needs to his next drink. Trying to repair a marriage that has nearly gone beyond repair will only cause you to abandon or forsake your own needs and the needs and safety of your children, when all he wants to do is drink and self-destruct.
An alcoholic expects things that are totally ridiculous and unrealistic. Whatever they mess up they expect you to either cover it up or fix it, causing you to become irritable and unpleasant to be around. Its nearly impossible to avoid them when their anger sets in and takes over. I am not speaking from reading any article (s), I am speaking from a living experience of hell.
I learned to cope and to not his actions stop me from living a life of my own. In a way he helped me to start living a life of my own. Learning to cope isn't easy but learning to look inside and finding your inner strength is a good beginning. Inside yourself you will find strength that you never knew you had, strength for yourself and your children. Once you start to believe in YOU nothing can stop YOU but YOU. When you stop expecting the worse and start looking for the better, you'll start coping and making life better.
Melanie Meyers offers survival tips for Miserable Unhappy Marriages on her blog at http://www.blog.miserableunhappywives.com