As denial had deceived me, I was slow to accept Multiple Sclerosis. Who, after all, would embrace a diagnosis of the dread disease, of no known cause, for which there is no cure?
I feel that denial has been one of my most insidious adversaries. Acceptance of a dreaded disease diagnosis, as in my case MS, has been a bitter battle.
If I severely severed my finger, I could deny that I had cut myself all that I wanted too, but I would still have to get the bleeding stopped.
If someone told me that I had halitosis, I could get mad at the bad-news bearer, but it might be wiser to go brush my teeth.
Mind over matter will not work here. Like the blind man with a bazooka, it will not matter how strong my resolve if I don’t see or identify my immediate enemy.
By denying that I do have a problem, I even limit my Lord’s ability to heal me. Rather, He accomplishes this by fueling my faith, utilizing resources within my own mind, leading me to collective wisdom of the more learned, or manifesting my healing via a miraculous recovery. The lepers whom the Lord healed didn’t try to deny that they had leprosy. A blind man was asked, “What do you want?"
I have a better promise of finding a satisfactory solution by acknowledging that I do indeed have a particular problem. If, like an Ostrich, I bury my head beneath the sand, my butt will still be hanging out.
I’m learning that to overcome a personal predicament, recognition of its reality is the first step toward disarming the enemy. (TEV) Proverbs 22:3 Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later.
Dr’s say I have Multiple Sclerosis. This diagnosis is confirmed by their tests and my own body’s developing symptoms. Okay, I can submit to that part. But conventional medicine doesn’t know the cause, or have a cure, so I had better find one, or learn how to live with it. This is not an act of giving up. It is a Declaration-of-War!
Now, this is a different kind of war than I’ve ever before waged. There is a lot at stake here. Not only my own life, but the lives of my loved ones, and even our personal freedoms are at risk.
Recognizing that this unauthorized challenger is bigger than I am, I’ll just have to grow. I’ll rally an army made up of angels, those who love and believe in me, and those who still want to. Although I lack the financial strength and physical stamina that I may have once had, we will whip this foe together.
Certain war-time principles apply. The first thing I must remember is not to abuse my allies or trample my own troops. By the very nature of my disease, and new limitations, we all suffer increased anxiety. I’d better be asking myself, “What can I do to alleviate some stress for them?"
When those who want to support me watch me wobbling on a cane, it doesn’t instill much confidence in my sound judgment. I’m not fooling the people who know me, and frightening the poor people who don’t. Total strangers even take on stress.
Claiming that I am not disabled casts doubt upon my good sense. Maybe, using a 4-wheeled walker, with a solid seat, would reflect better judgment and make us all more secure? (ASV) Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.
Russ Miles is author of the novel, For Sale By Owners:FSBO. A “Seasoned" Real Estate NAR® Broker, he is “Disabled" by Multiple Sclerosis, FOR SALE BY OWNERS:FSBO ISBN 0-595-28703-4, in trade paperback, is available by phone or Internet:1-800-Authors to order direct! Very HOT–LINK Adobe e-book & hard cover editions also available at Amazon.com at Barnes and Noble and other fine booksellers. For personal referrals to his publisher or comments, reach Russ at (360)694-6756. Or by e-mail MilesRuss@Gmail.com