Starting well before the years you can mentally recall your parents, siblings, friends and family were impacting your self-acceptance. As you grow older the primary driver of self-acceptance shifts to how positively you feel you, your style and your beliefs are accepted, by not only your parents, siblings, friends and family, but your boss, co-workers and other important people in your life as well.
Your own level of self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you feel you are accepted by the important people in your life. It is affected even more so by those attitudes you BELIEVE these important people have towards you. If you believe these key people in your life harbor poor or negative attitudes towards you then your self-esteem and self-acceptance is impacted negatively. If, however, your beliefs are that these key people in your life think highly of you and have a positive attitude towards you and your part in their life, then your self esteem and self acceptance is on the rise empowered by this belief.
This simple fact brings to light a simple truth; the cornerstone to building a solid healthy personality hinges on understanding yourself and your feelings. For you to genuinely stop being haunted by those ‘skeletons in your closet’ or those ghosts of the past, you must be able to unveil them to at least one person. This exercise of self- disclosure can enable you to get those ghosts, skeletons and nagging thoughts off your chest and out of your head – free that space between your ears to be focused on more productive and certainly far more enjoyable tasks. Now realize that you must only share these personal thoughts, experiences and feels with someone you trust implicitly. Some that will not make you feel uncomfortable, ashamed or guilty.
The next step in this acceptance exercise can only happen once you have taken the previously mentioned first step of self-disclosure. Zig Ziglar says “I have found in 100% of the cases, no exceptions, that people who will not take step number one… never take step number two. " So do not think you can skip the hard stuff to get to the easy steps and gain all the insight to a better life, love or business. Only when you share what your truly thinking and feeling to trusted person can you even hope to become aware of those thoughts, the emotions they carry and the impact they are having on your life. The other person doesn’t even have to offer up any comment to afford you the opportunity to begin to see the person you are and even more importantly, why you do some of the things you do.
Now comes the third and final step is self-acceptance. After you have shared you thoughts and feelings you begin to gain a new perspective on those things that have happened and how you reacted, and how your still reacting to them or because of them. With this new perspective you can arrive at self-acceptance. You can really look at what makes you tick, and accept you for the individual that you are. Individually unique with you own set of highs and low, fortes and failings, things you like and things you do not like or want to change. All of this makes you who you are today. When you are able to detach yourself from accusing everyone else in the world for who you are. Then you can admit to yourself (and others) that you are not perfect!! That is right, you are NOT perfect!! I am not perfect – the person who raised you is not perfect. Your boss, husband, wife, son, daughter, sister and that cashier at the grocery store all are not perfect. But those of us who can openly admit this fact, and realize we can take steps to improve our imperfections – will begin to enjoy a higher level of self-esteem and self-acceptance.
Still another powerful tool to pushing your levels of self-esteem and self-acceptance high is to sit down and review you accomplishments – big and small. Park yourself at your desk or kitchen table, with a blank pad of paper and go back as far as you can in your memory. Write down each and every accomplished you can recall. Do not set a level for the accomplishment – if you did it – write it down. Write down, “I graduated high school. " If you do not think that is an accomplishment – look at scores of kids and adults who have not attained it. Write down, “I learned how to sew. " Even the simple tasks take on a new meaning at some time. Ask the bachelor that does not know how to sew – when tears his best suit right before that important interview. Write each and every accomplishment that comes to mind. Do not stop writing until you cannot think of another thing.
Now that you have all your accomplishments, do the same thing with your unique talents, skills, and abilities. Write down all those things that you are good at, do exceptionally well or do only fairly well but love doing. Leave nothing off this list either. Write it all down. This list will usually encompass the core of your success (past, present or future) in your profession, as well as your personal life. Because if you are doing something you enjoy doing, and getting paid for it, then you will do it far better than someone who is just doing it for the paycheck.
Now review your list, adding anything new that comes to mind. Keep your list handy. Review it at least once a week for the next month. Keep your mind alive with your accomplishments and the things that you excel at, as well as the things you do well and love doing. This will do wonders for guiding your thoughts towards the future. As you think towards the future and the possibilities it holds. Realize that your potential is practically boundless. You can do what you want to do, go where you want to go. You can be who you want to be – to steal the words of Zig Ziglar once again. You can set those goals, both miniature and monstrous, to reach your dreams. You can device the plans around those goals. The plans that tap your skills, abilities and past accomplishments. The plans to move you methodically towards the realization of your dreams and the person you wish to become. The plans to over come the largest obstacle you will ever face – yourself.
_ Sit down with trusted confidant and share with them, honestly, on and topic that has been on your mind. Perhaps even start out with something small and work you way into those larger concerns.
_ At you share with your confidant, develop your new perspective. Even detach yourself and look at the matter as if it were happening to someone else. What guidance would you give?
_ Build your list of accomplishment, unique talents, skills, and abilities
_ Keep your list handy and review it at least once a week for the next month. Feel the pride of those accomplishments. Jog your memory to the fact that you have in fact done well, can and will do so again and again and again.
“You will be amazed at the things you will accomplish the moment you BELIEVE you can accomplish them. For once you believe in yourself you have the first secret of success. "
Think Successfull & Take Action!
http://www.SuccessAtlas.com Tracy Brinkmann is an goal setting and success counselor. Through his company Success Atlas, he provides goal-setting, motivational & educational material, & training via live presentations as well as digital/audio products. Sign up for his free e-Zine http://www.SuccessAtlas.com