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Are You Avoiding Yourself?

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

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How much time do you spend avoiding yourself? Your immediate response was no doubt, ‘none. ’ Why would I avoid myself? It seems like it would be impossible to do. Yet, that is what many people do-avoiding. Your life is comprised of everything you do-showering, brushing your teeth and sleeping, with everything in between. However, there is often a plethora of busy work that distracts and keeps you from connecting with yourself. Experiencing your life from the inside takes time each day to be alone and quiet in the presence of your soul.

Many people have not grasped that one's life is all there is. Your life is not about your parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, cars, house, clothes and things. Your life is about your soul. Yet, the majority of people seldom connect with their true essence. As a result many people have stopped ‘being’ and are merely walking through life with a ‘to do list’ and a plethora of acquired ‘things’ for which they can say, ‘Look at me, look at what I accomplished. ’ The big house with the three car garage, the fancy car, vacations, country club membership and the list goes on. This is not to say, that having the finer things in life is bad. But what have you accomplished where it really counts-your emotional and spiritual growth?

There are many reasons why it is uncomfortable to sit with yourself-it is difficult to open yourself to your inner voice, which might question what you are creating with the choices you make. Your inner voice might remind you of things you want to keep hidden-even from yourself-let alone others. Your inner voice might remind you of your inner yearnings-dreams that you have let slip away.

When you are feeling overwhelmed by your busy schedule, the idea of hearing your inner voice can seem to be more than you can stand. However, your inner voice reflections the chords that connect you to your authentic self, and is the very thing that makes your life worth living. When you continually avoid connecting with your inner voice you risk losing the very purpose of your existence this time around.

In order to begin the process of being present and less absent in your life, you need to set aside a few minutes each day to sit with yourself. Sit with your self in a meditative or contemplative state. Watching TV or a movie, reading a book or chatting on the phone does not count as spending time with oneself. To avoid the avoidance, take time each day for self-exploration. Being with yourself in an open way is very powerful and empowering.

After several weeks of practicing being with yourself, you will notice that you enjoy this time so much that you make less busy work and spend time at the center of your life, rather than avoiding yourself.

First Published:

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, “101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life. " Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings.


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