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The Desire for Control and the Power of Desire

Dr. Cara Alana

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You can only control your reactions, not how others act or react. That realization is the ultimate control. It's not about what happens in the world around you, it's about how you interpret it. And you do have total control over that.

When you exercise your power to control your own interpretation, then you can detach from the outcome and stay flexible and relaxed. The outcome no longer has the power to throw you off course.

When you're trying to control the outcome, you're at the whim of everyone and everything around you to make you feel success or failure, fulfillment or devastation. So you become extremely attached to keeping things just the way you think they should be.

This is similar to “organizational entropy", the phenomenon that takes place when an organization loses the ability to grow because they become too attached, fixed and rigid.

You experience that same degeneration when you become focused on results. All of your energy is spent defending how things are instead of discovering how things could be.

Letting go of control and embracing desire What do you really desire? This can be a difficult question to answer, and you may not even feel clear about what a desire is.

A desire is what your inner self yearns for, and dreams of. It's what you're really all about. When you embrace that part of yourself, you can let joy take over, and enter into the state of flow that will carry you through the action steps that you need to take.

Your ego will try to take control of your BIG dream, to protect you from the possibility of failure, guilt, overwhelm and all those obstacles. You can be grateful for that protection, but not let it take over.

Instead, you can balance the ego by learning to think with your heart - to tap into your heart's desire. That's the only way for your BIG dream to grow.

You'll be more moved to take action when you're guided by your heart and from a place of passion.

To let go of the ego and control you'll need to have faith. Admit to yourself that you're scared of the obstacles you see ahead. Tell yourself that you're going to trust your inner voice and your intuition. That you're going to trust that you're on the path that you are supposed to be on and that your steps are leading you where you want to go.

When you let go of control, embrace your heart's desire and show trust and faith, each step you take will be more deliberate and full of the momentum and energy you'll need to keep on track.

© Dr. Cara Alana, 2007.

Dr. Cara Alana is a life fulfillment expert and certified professional coach. What's standing between you and your full happiness potential?

Visit to sign up for the complimentary e-course, “Dare to Clear the Way" and discover the steps to your BIG dream and life fulfillment now.


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