No need to spoil kids - give them loving discipline
No need to shout and rage - give them loving discipline
Tell them why they can’t have it, at the moment - in a nice way, be loving
Understand that they see things differently from you - don't blame them for asking, just explain, in a loving way, why not now, but maybe later
Parents don't want to spoil their kids, but equally don't know how to say no, without showing irritation and often anger at the child for having asked, so they often reluctantly give in, instead of standing their ground. How to do this, without being mean? Be Loving. In a kind, gentle sort of way.
Children respond well to this kind of treatment. Because, after all, what they really want is love. The loving attention is the treat they receive by being good. They need to be shown they will benefit by being patient. That it’s safe to be quiet for a while, that what they want isn't going to go away just because they don't get it right now. But being loving doesn’t necessarily mean being too soft and gooey either, maybe just kind in a straightforward sort of way, depending on the situation and how you’re feeling at the time. But you do need to be strict with yourself not to ‘give in’, and to be consistent and maintain the loving discipline.
If a child is already ‘spoilt’, it may be hard at first to adjust to the new routine. The child will dig his/her heals in harder and make it more difficult, but only at first, but if you stand your ground, firmly but nicely, smiling and kind, they’ll soon get the gist and adjust to the new way of behaving.
If they receive love, they feel assured that all is not lost, that they will get something they want. They think they want the ice cream, the cuddle, the attention right here, right now, this instant, but what they really want and need are boundaries, set in a disciplined but loving way.
On the one hand, loving discipline is a far cry from disciplinarian, rigid, militaristic rules that can only apply to robots and soldiers, who need to act like robots, not to human beings generally.
Then, as an adult, a person who hasn’t received loving discipline when a kid will struggle daily with setting and achieving goals, with routine and daily discipline, because they will feel like it’s not worth it, “I’m not worth it”. It has a knock-on effect for the rest of their lives, unless they are able to see it for what it is and change.
So don't shout and scold, don't castigate, but explain, love, and nurture, guide and lead, preferably by example, your child into a happy but disciplined future. Then the knock-on effect will be positive for yourself and the child for generations to come.
Interests include: self-help, motivation, health, and anything that improves your life. The author uses ancient techniques that have been around for hundreds of years: numerology, I Ching, psychic insight, and astrology, that can provide deep personal insights and wisdom, helping with everything from ailments and depression to a complete overhaul of your life. Choose a career that really suits you, make decisions and find direction. Liberate your playful side, have fun, and get energized about life and living. Find ideas, find excitement and enthusiasm, find the drive to help yourself and then to serve others: care, create, move, drive, motivate, change, and love life.