No Such Thing as Do-It-Yourself

Maureen Miller

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I had a client, on my Television show; ask me why I felt he would benefit from a Coach. I knew he wasn’t asking for the usual list I gave. He wanted to know why, working with a coach, actually worked. I usually tell people a few things about how I coach. I find that telling too much generally goes into information overload or I just send them to my Squidoo Lens.

But I do say three things:
1. I consider them an expert in their life. They have all the skills, tools, power and knowledge to create permanent change in their lives.
2. I also work using Intentional Questioning. This means it is my intention to provoke thought, reflection and finally inspiration.
3. Lastly Inspiration is the key here. It is the single most powerful tool available to them that creates permanent change and enhances motivation.

It still doesn’t explain why they need a coach to do this. So I allowed myself to get a bit technical. I reminded him that it only takes two seconds to create a new habit. I also told him that the brain loves to be organized and loves working on problems. When your brain is working on a problem the electrical firing that goes on is amazing and actually visible on an MRI.

Because the brain is organized the second you introduce a new pattern of behavior it immediately starts firing up again. This is not a problem but it most definitely messes up the neat and tidy way it’s got your mind organized. Introducing a change causes a great deal of electrical activity which causes a lot of emotional energy to be released. You may know it by another name: fear.

So you’ve got two strikes against you if you try to Do-It-Yourself. First the brain prefers to look at a problem instead of a solution. Unless you have someone outside of yourself to keep you focused on dealing with a solution, it’s much easier to just fall back on focusing on the problem. It’s quite an energy rush but does it really create the solution and change a client is looking for? Not really.

The second problem is the issue the brain has with change. If you are alone in doing this you will constantly come up against your brain’s huge desire to avoid change at all costs. This is almost as powerful and energy rush as just looking at the problem.

As a coach I offer two methods of helping you get past this hump. Yes it does take 1 – 2 seconds to create the habit but it takes time to nurture and anchor this new idea in your mind. And that is exactly what I do. I spend my coaching time nurturing the idea, reminding of you of the idea and offering delayed-feedback so that the idea and the excitement of the inspiration stays foremost in your mind.

The second thing I do is offer encouragement and positive feedback at the right times, regularly and often. When you come up against that fear the only way to deal with it is have someone, outside of yourself tell you that everything is going to be okay, you are doing great and just hang in there. Now that takes more than 1- 2 seconds and probably why people say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. I believe it takes 21 days to anchor the new behavior and eliminate the old one.

It would be great if you could do this yourself but I told my client we are our own worst enemy when it comes to change. Doing-it-Yourself just doesn’t cut it when you all alone, doubt your ability and being seduced by the energy your brain is releasing.

Maureen Miller B. Ed. , C. U. G. ,
Associate Certified Coach
Certified Teleclass Leader
Coaching Personally

Vancouver Island, B. C. , Canada
Create a thinking revolution for yourself!


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