It's so easy to blame everyone else for what goes wrong in your life, isn't it? Nothing need ever be your fault, and you can deny any responsibility or liability for things that are said and done. You can blame your parents for your dreadful childhood, and you can blame the kitchen sink if you can, if it will let you off the hook.
Because that's what apportioning blame is all about. Letting oneself off the hook. Running away from the responsibility of being honest and truthful, and accepting that the only person responsible for your words and actions is yourself. You are responsible for all your realities in your life.
Where do we learn to shift the blame on to anything and anyone else? Why do we not have the courage to step up to the plate and admit that we let our ego get in the way of truth?
Truth to tell, it doesn't really matter one bit where we learn it or when. Because by trying to identify where it comes from, we're simply finding reasons and excuses for how we are. What really matters is knowing and accepting our frailty, being compassionate towards ourselves for this frailty, and learning from it.
It means knowing yourself. It means knowing when your ego is trying to muscle in and get in the way of open, honest communication. It means living with honesty and integrity, being true to one's principles and beliefs and setting ourselves a standard by which to live.
It means having boundless love and respect for other people - why would we want to blame those we love? Why would we want to compromise that trust and respect by devaluing the truth of our emotions?
Wouldn't we rather understand our part in any conflict, own it and maintain the deep bond we have?
That's how we let go of blame. By remembering above all else that love, compassion and truth are the foundation of our relationships with each other, and that to honour those relationships, we treat others with respect and integrity.
It also means that we can let go of all those things and events in our lives that have held us back from achieving our true purpose and stifled our creativity. We don't need to blame our parents, the boss, the failed loves, for any lack or emptiness - the only person who can fill that emptiness is you.
It takes courage. Courage comes from the heart. And that will guide you towards what you want.
Neel Raman, is an author, presenter, workshop facilitator and coach to many. He has written ‘Hoops and Freedom’, a powerful self-improvement book, in the form of an entertaining fiction story, targeted at those who want and demand more from life. To get the first chapter for FREE and to receive FREE motivational lessons, visit: http://www.focusedon.com.au/blog To find out more about this book and to register to receive FREE newsletters and other FREE offers, visit: http://www.HoopsAndFreedom.com