What to Do If You Have an Extraordinary Experience When Mourning


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Millions of people throughout the world have reported Extraordinary Experiences (EEs) when mourning the deaths of their loved ones. These experiences are not associated with a psychic. Rather they are spontaneous in nature and appear to originate from an outside source. They include visions, synchronicities, hearing the deceased, sensing the presence of the loved one, visitation dreams, and various symbolic signs, to name a few.

These events have been occurring since the dawn of history and appear to be a normal phenomenon giving great comfort and insight to the bereaved. Because they can neither be proved nor disproved, little is done to show how they can be used, or accepted as a gift to be shared and discussed. They serve the spirit by causing the recipient to consider where these things come from and who controls them.

Here is what to do if you are fortunate to have the experience or are providing support for someone who shares an experience with you.

1. Rule out the obvious. It is good to be skeptical, especially if you have never had an EE before, and you wonder if it is just wishful thinking. Ask yourself if this is the kind of thing your loved one would do and decide if you have an intuitive certainty about the experience. Most important of all, did it bring you peace or feelings that love was being given? If you answer in the affirmative, then give thanks to your Higher Power, and use it to deal with your loss.

2. As soon as possible, write up the complete experience. Start with where you were and what you were doing when the event unfolded. Then, from beginning to end, go into detail and give a complete description. Be sure to include the feelings that were evoked and how you interpret the message conveyed by the experience.

3. Put a copy of your writing in a safe place where it can be passed on as part of your family history. Your EE can be a wonderful legacy to give to the next generation where it will be read and speculated about as a source of love. Put it with other important papers with a note as to its importance and meaning for you.

4. Share it with your family or close friends. In doing so, be prepared that there may be some who do not agree with your view of its meaning. Do not let that upset you. In fact, it is to be expected. You and you alone are the sole judge of your experience. You know how it felt, the timing, what it was saying, and the implications. Hold fast to your belief.

5. Use it to teach your children about the fact that love never dies. The EE brings comfort and the universal message, “I’m okay and you can be okay too. ” It is a gift of love to deal with the transition you must face. When it involves a child, make it clear that the deceased loves him or her very much. That is why the child was given the experience.

6. When you have a bad day, take out your copy of the experience and read it focusing on its meaning and the love it represents. You can leave a written copy of your experience in a drawer of your night stand to be read at any time. Use it as an inspiration and a reminder that your loved one knows what’s going on and wants to see you persist in adapting to your loss.

7. Create a personal symbol that characterizes the experience that you can place in a prominent place in your home, automobile, or purse. This symbol may be a special possession you own or that belonged to your loved one. It could be a drawing, emblem, or picture that sends a particular message to you when you see it. Use it as a reminder that you are loved forever, as a motivation to reach a particular goal, or to highlight any belief that you wish to keep prominent in your thinking.

Learn all you can about Extraordinary Experiences. Much has been written about them, and there is much to study and learn about. Taking this action will not only increase your awareness but you will be educating yourself about one of the many mysteries in our universe that needs to be used as the gift it is intended to be. You will emerge with vitality and insight about a whole new phase of life.

Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is http://www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com


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