The title got your attention, didn't it? And NOT in a good way.
Aren't you feeling a little agitation right now? I bet you are. This is the normal response to being told we are WRONG. Your intention in reading further may even be to prove to me that you are NOT wrong, but quite right. And youd on't even know what we are talking about yet!
This attitude is why we have conflict. Conflict is caused by the desire to be right. Think about an argument you have recently had. Was it with your spouse, co-worker or the cashier at Target? It doesn't matter WHO is was, or what you THINK about them, or even what the actual FACTS were. What generated the conflict was your need to prove you were right about whatever happened.
In any given situation that involves conflict (whether that is aggressive conflict or polite conflict, it hardly matters) you would be better off in the long run to give up your irresistible need to be right EVERY TIME. You may wish to fight to the death on some issue that is important to you-and those fights are likely the ones that define who you are and what you stand for. But when you are fighting over who took the garbage our last or were you the next one in line, you may need to see where your need to be right is getting in your way.
Dr. Robert Bolten, bestselling author of “People Skills" states, “My research indicates that 95% of all conflict stems from our irresistable need to be right. Our conflict would greatly diminish if we gave up this mindset. "
So how do we go about changing this mindset? Following are a couple of quotes based on Dr. Stephen Covey's Work (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) and to take a quote from this list and put it to work for you. Place it on your computer screen, as a screensaver or post if somewhere you will see often like the bathroom mirror.
"Assertiveness is defined as courage balanced with consideration. "
Dr. Stephen Covey
My interpretation: Have the guts to stand up for yourself, but do it with some manners.
"What is more important ? To be right in your relationships or to be effective in them?"
Dr. Stephen Covey
My interpretation: On your deathbed, will your last words be “I was loved" or “I was right" ?
Stephanie Goddard Davidson is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training.
Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Ms. Davidson is also a nationally certified trainer for Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; Ridge’s People Skills for Managers and Individual Contributors; Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; FranklinCovey’s Project Management and master certified in Achieve Global’s Management Programs; as well as an instructor with the American Management Association.
Ms. Davidson is currently training to be a crisis negotiation team member (hostage negotiator) for her town's police department. The Town of Cary, NC has been listed as one of the top ten safest cities in the U. S. as well as recognized as “Top Ten Places to Live" for a second time. Cary is located outside of Raleigh, NC.
Please see her book “101 Ways to Have a Great Day @ Work" on Amazon.com or your favorite bookseller.