Anger, is a strong feeling that is hidden deep deep deep under several layers of skin and often unleashed inappropriately. Actually some of us are able to control this beast more easily than others. They do not get triggered as easily and know how to deal with it. Why? Because they can communicate what is important to them.
So for the rest of us; why is it so silent and vicious? Why does it emerge unexpectedly? Personally I did not know I could become so angry so fast. I really thought I was not an angry person.
Webster’s definition of anger is: “A strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism (opposition of a conflicting force, tendency or principle. )”
Anthony Robbins states that being angry is an emotion that ranges from being mildly irritated to becoming enraged. Tell me about it!
How can we control or manage this alienating and miserable felling?
According to Mr. Robbins it is all about perception and I must agree. From my experience, I often get angry because I did not communicate how important “this situation, thing, rule, value” was to me; often realizing after the fact, another had no know clues about MY rules.
Perhaps I did not communicate effectively and must change my approach to be understood to some people. Also my anger might not have been justified. I might need to adjust my thoughts. Was my way really the “right way?”
Anger is an unpleasant feeling associated with frustration, disappointment and guilt.
Solution: It all comes down to communicating your feelings clearly before anger emerges and sometimes after the fact. Remember it is never too late to make up for our own lack of communication and to transmit our values to others.
One more thing, take a big breath before you say anything!
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. " -Ambrose Bierce
"When anger rises, think of the consequences" -Confucius
"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses. " -William Arthur Ward
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