Everybody has to deal with anger from time to time. But what’s the best way to handle it? To answer that question, we must first understand what anger really is. Anger is an emotion often characterized by feelings of great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath and vengeance. Many times, reacting in anger is how we express our dissatisfaction with life. It’s defined in the Greek language as the strongest of all passions. Anger begins with a feeling that’s often expressed in words or actions. We feel something and it causes a reaction.
GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM
Anger is the fruit of rotten roots. One of the primary roots of anger stems from the family. Angry people come from angry families because they learn from their role models and carry on the same behavior in their own lives, eventually passing it on to their children.
OTHER ROOTS OF ANGER INCLUDE:
Injustice—when people mistreat us but there’s nothing we can do about it, we get angry because we feel it isn't fair. As much as we’d like to change the situation or the person who’s treating us badly, we can't. People can't change people; only God can change people. So it's best to put our energy into praying for the offender.
Strife—which is hidden, repressed anger, begins with judgment, gossip, backbiting and thinking too highly of yourself. Strife is often exhibited in arguing, bickering, heated disagreements and angry undercurrents.
Impatience—often produces anger when we can't get what we want when we want it. When our progress is hindered or slowed down because of others, it’s easy to become impatient. Most of us struggle with impatience on a daily basis simply because of today's fast-paced world.
Abuse of any kind—sexual, physical, verbal, emotional or mental abuse almost always leads to anger. They’re all injustices, which eventually leave the abused feeling helpless and angry. Abuse of any kind can’t be ignored. We must deal with it and process it before we can get free of it.
Unmet needs—can also produce anger. We all have needs that can and should be met by those closest to us; however, they don’t know and understand our needs unless we communicate with them. But even then they may sometimes fail to meet our needs. Therefore, the answer is to go to God with our needs and not to other people.
Jealousy—anger caused by jealousy was one of the first negative emotions mentioned in the Bible. Genesis 4 tells us that Cain killed his brother Abel because he was jealous to the point of being angry. Although this is one of the more extreme results of jealousy, it reminds us of how dangerous jealousy can be.
In today’s society many people feel their status is dependent on their job or position in the church. Because of this mindset, they’re afraid someone else may get promoted ahead of them. Jealousy causes them to try to be important in the eyes of man. If you have this problem, understand that God has you where you are for a reason. He knows what’s in your future, and He may have you in training for it right now. There’s a big difference between being able and being ready to do a specific thing. So don't despise the days of small beginnings. Remember, we must answer to God. Our rewards come from obeying the specific callings He’s placed on our lives, not from the great things we accomplish as far as the world is concerned.
Other roots that lead to anger include fear of confrontation, insecurity, and feeling controlled by a job or other people and their problems. I used to get mad at people who controlled me until God told me one day, “You’re just as guilty as they are because you're letting them do it. " We shouldn’t put excessive pressure on ourselves by making too many commitments just because we don't want to say no to someone.