One of the many ironies of our existence here on the big blue ball is that, while most of us really want to experience ‘different', we consistently do ‘the same’.
Unknowingly and unintentionally we create the same, almost every day of our lives.
We want different. . . but we get up each day and do exactly what we did yesterday, the day before, the month before and sadly (sometimes), the year before.
Some of us have been doing what we don't really want to do for years. . . hoping that different (whatever our desired different is) might somehow ‘find’ us.
We create our own monotony and repetition; our own ‘same-ness’.
And when we do the same (as we all do at times), we get the same (or worse).
Same body (fitness, health, appearance).
Same job (forever).
Same discussions about the same issues.
Same pointless arguments with the same people.
Same decisions that we never follow through on.
Same destructive habits.
Same negative thought processes.
Same painful, unhealthy relationships.
We often tell ourselves that we have had no choice and that nobody understands our situation. . . or hasn't gone through what we have. Another ‘reason’ (justification, explanation) for staying where we don't want to be and for continuing to do and be. . . the same.
If we try hard enough we can rationalise and explain virtually anything we do. . . or don't do.
Now might be a good time to stop. . . waddya think?
You've heard it said before on this site (and many others) that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting (or hoping for) a different outcome. "
We all know it's dumb. . . but we continue to do it!
You do it; you know you do.
We all do it on some level.
You just need to decide if you're going to stop it.
The problem with same is that in some ways it's familiar and comfortable; we know what's coming, it's not too scary or daunting. But at the same time, it's not (necessarily) rewarding, stimulating, exciting, fun or fulfilling. In fact, living in a constant state of same-ness often leads to frustration, unhappiness, depression and despair. Different (doing, thinking, being, acting, choosing, communicating, reacting) on the other hand is often daunting and uncomfortable (and amazing and fantastic) . . . and being as we are creatures of comfort (and habit). . . some of us will inhabit same. . . for much, if not all of our boring, predictable, repetitious lives.
Lesson 1. If you want to experience different, YOU need to create it. That's right. . . you. Not your therapist, not your partner, not your parents, not your doctor, not Oprah, not Dr. Phil and definitely not me.
It's all about YOU.
We tell ourselves it's about a range of things. . . but it always comes back to us. Even if we are in a difficult and undesirable situation or circumstance. . . it still comes down to what we do. . .in that situation or circumstance. Some of us spend years going around in circles doing the same things and waiting for someone, or something, to fix us.
Ain't gonna happen Tiger.
Listen to Uncle Craig; get off that fluffy white cloud that you've been floating around on and step down into reality. If you choose to do that (different), you can create amazing change in a day. . . an hour even.
I've seen relationships that have been in turmoil for years, healed in an hour because someone got off their cloud, humbled themself, made a phone call, said sorry and decided to really listen to someone (possibly for the first time). Did something different. They realised that amazingly they were part of the problem (who would have thought?).
I've seen people who have lost fifty pounds in a relatively short period of time after screwing around for twenty years. . .because they finally took total responsibility, were prepared to get uncomfortable and prepared to stop looking for a quick fix or short cut. Prepared to do different (for real and forever).
If right now you're in a situation or circumstance that you can do something about then . . . . make a different decision; one you've never made. . . but should have long ago. Deal with the discomfort and fear. . . it's how you grow, develop new skills and get strong. Shock yourself and others. Stop rationalising, explaining and justifying your same-ness and DO SOMETHING.
Lesson 2. Stop waiting for different to ‘happen’ to you. Different is something we create. We determine what happens. . .despite the underlying theme of some Personal Development fluff, it's not about fate, destiny or chance; it's about you.
If I knew how to create a flow chart on a computer I'd do it now. . . but fortunately for you, I don't, so I'll keep my next message to a simple sentence; here it is:
* Different thinking (mindset, attitude, perspective) = different choices = different behaviours = different results = different reality (what we want).
So all ‘forever’ change starts in our head; if we don't change how we think, reason, process, rationalise and react. . . . we'll never create different.
Lesson 3. Our ability to create the ‘different’ we desire will be largely dependant on our ability to get uncomfortable. . . often.
We love comfort; emotional, physical and psychological comfort.
Many of us revolve much of our lives around the comfort factor. . . . but unfortunately, there's not always a correlation between comfort. . . . . . . and joy, excitement, fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness. Most successful people have one thing in common, and no, it's not their talent or brains; it's their ability to deal with discomfort.
So, if you want to experience different. . . then think, choose and be different.
Craig Harper (B. Ex. Sci. ) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.
He can be heard weekly on Australian Radio SEN 1116 and GOLD FM and appears on Australian television on Network Ten's 9AM.
Australian Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper