We are being taught to live consciously and to watch and control our emotions. But what happens if somebody really annoys you, or if somebody makes a nasty and hurting remark. Is it wrong to become angry then?
Well, the answer to that is a bit more complicated then just giving you a “Yes” or a “No”.
To begin with you have to have a good look inside of yourself and be honest about what you find in there. You will have to ask yourself: “Am I an angry person? Am I someone who easily becomes angry and maybe even a bit easier than other people?
If you can answer this question with Yes, then it’s likely that you have unconsciously learned to identify yourself with anger, which over a longer period of time becomes an addiction.
Biochemical scientists have established that when we humans have a thought this creates an overwhelming amount of chemicals, that try to convince us that we actually ARE our thought.
You will recognize that when you do become angry you can literally feel it racing through your body. Well that is this chemical reaction.
The more we run into and create situations in which we can become angry, the more we start to satisfy our body with this addictive chemical. Each time we identify with the feeling of anger we are building up an energetic charge within our system, which of course also needs to be discharged from time to time.
And this is exactly what takes place when we meet another person who makes us angry. Of course this other person has a certain energy around him/her that can have an effect on us too, but in general it’s the information of the other person that resonates with the charge that is built up inside of us. Our charge is being triggered by what the other person says or does and before we realize it, our reaction will be there and we get totally lost in the feeling of our anger. It’s completely taking possession of us, so to speak.
Now, what can we do about this? Here are some self motivation tips you can use to do some self-motivation exercise with. That’s the way to obtain the necessary self motivation skills.
The first thing we need to become aware of, is that we should not take our upcoming feeling in a personal way, nor should we judge it or be afraid of it. After all we HAVE the feeling, it’s not so that we ARE the feeling.
For example: You feel angry, but in fact you ARE not angry, because after all you DIDN’T feel angry UNTIL you met the person in question. The minute you start noticing the truth in this you will notice that your anger will disappear after a few minutes, simply because YOU changed your relationship to that what you felt.
Don’t forget that each one of us experiences the things that happen in our lives in our own unique way. Our individual experiences are defined by our personality, our ego and our own idea of who we are, which is the sum of all our experiences, fears, patterns, beliefs and convictions.
All this says something about HOW we experience certain things, but it says nothing about WHAT we truly experience. It has to do with how we have learned to protect ourselves from things we were afraid of when we were little kids. In other words someone who makes us angry actually triggers something we have learned to react to when we were very young. So we need to stop judging or blaming the outside world for how we feel.
There is no such thing as the horrible parent, the bad spouse or the irritating boss or colleague at work. We determine how we experience the world around us and that is a unique experience for each one of us.
A Buddhist friend of mine said it like this: Try to see it as if we are a spider’s web through which the wind blows freely. The web feels and experiences the wind completely, but nothing gets stuck in the web.
Ab van Deemter (http://www.passiontogrow.com ) is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.